April 4, 2008
Last night, I bugged Mike long enough that he finally gave in and took me out of the house so that we could go get ice cream as a family.
See, how it works is, when Mike is on the computer, that’s when I find I really crave and need some family time, some interaction and quality memory making moments. So, obviously, he needs to get off the computer. Family time is a special time. What deadbeat Dad chooses computer time over family time at the ice cream shop?
So since there is absolutely no arguing or follow-up to that sort of moral obligation, we attend to the family time. See how that works? It’s wonderful. And then when the memories have been made and you’re en route back to the battle station, you then mentally calculate your tactics of ensuring the computer is in your control for the remainder of the night. After the manslave puts the children to bed, of course.
What would you all do without me, I don’t know. “Fully Operational Battle Station, the things you DIDN’T learn in Marriage Prep 101 at BYU Idaho” that’s what our slogan should be. (Our, as in, all one of us here running the website).
So, back to where I was, where was I? Oh right, I WIN with my powerful and clever ways and we leave the house to go get ice cream.
We pull into the parking lot and are walking in to the joint, getting into the groove of our family adventure, when we see these two high school boys, the cool ones with the complicated hair, eyeing us from inside. They’re really obviously staring at us. When we open up the door and step inside, we aren’t sure what their deal is, when they go:
DUDE! It’s BURKE’S family!
And then they proceeded to be seen with us in public, like in our CLOSE proximity, exchanging words, eye contact, in and around our uncool circumference, by us and with us, an old married couple with a child. It was unclear exactly what was happening. But we played it cool. Because, dude, the complicated hair kids were talking to us and moments like that, you appreciate them when they happen, you don’t rush these things.
Burke is my kid brother, by the way. He looks like this:
Burkey? Don’t be angry, come on, show us your angry eyes Burke. Your tortured eyes.
I’m kidding. We treat him like a Gothy Emo kid when he acts all moody and teenagery (we love ourselves, it never gets old) but in actuality, he looks like this:
And so he’s all cute and smelly and awkward like that. Which, apparently, girls really dig cute, smelly and awkward.
Burke with some of his punk friends with their outfits and their hair that they all meticulously scrutinize to look as though they JUST DON’T CARE WHAT ANYBODY THINKS!!
The cool kids, they talk to us and leave. We are feeling really good about ourselves, like we are maybe cool again ourselves, just by briefly being in the good graces of the cool kids like that. And we order our banana split and our better batter cookie dough extra thick milkshake, still on our high of being talked to by the un-talkable-ones. We even look around the shop like, that’s right people, if you need a teenager translator, we are currently taking cases now at this time. WE HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE COMPLICATEDS.
But it gets better. Because once we get our 2,874 calories of goodness all ready and over to the cashier, we put our bowls on the counter and take out our magical make-it-all-go-away card to pay and are told by the punky cute 16 year old girl “Don’t worry about it. You don’t need to pay. I like Burke.” And then walks away.
I LIKE BURKE, she says, and gives us our ice cream for free.
The hookups and coolness have now reached an all-time high. Apparently all we have to do is mention my brothers name and our social status is elevated to that of rockstars! FREE ICE CREAM. That’s what I’m sayin. Mike thought he’d test the theory by dropping Burke’s name in a phone call to our Mortgage Company. I have a SNEAKY feeling our next payment will be waived.
The funny thing is that we’re still old farts. We sat down to eat our totally free ice cream and felt bad. We now relate more with the ice cream shop Owner who inadvertently hired 16 year olds who hand out free ice cream to whoever they feel like deserves it.
Sorry Ice Cream Shop Owner. But your ice cream was amazing.
Posted by Jamie @ 8:00 pm • my crazy family
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April 4th, 2008 at 9:58 pm, erinthebeekeeper Says:
Oh my goodness.
When I come visit you all some day in the awesomeness that is boise I’ll be like connected to well connected ones. Maybe it will rub off.
April 5th, 2008 at 8:27 am, Erica B. Says:
Do you think “Hi, I’m Erica and once locked Burke in a closet” will work for FREE stuff?? I’m thinking that might actually get me a punch in the face after reading your blog! I love your little smelly Burkey…and he will forever love me. He has no choice.
April 5th, 2008 at 10:30 am, Betina Says:
Hahaha. Free ice cream, that’s great!
April 5th, 2008 at 12:49 pm, Anna Says:
I love the part at the end about the ice cream shop owner. Thats exactly what I was thinking….lol….
April 5th, 2008 at 2:20 pm, Katy Says:
Sweet score! The worst is when you are 35 and you say something like “sweet score” and the complicated little skate rats think you are just trying to sound younger and are embarrased for you. But really that’s just how you talk, and your husband could still show them a thing or two in a 1/2 pipe. If his bones weren’t so brittle now. Ah, to be young and beautiful like Burke. And you.
April 5th, 2008 at 6:36 pm, Utah Jennifer Says:
See, this is why I think your family is great. When you can get free ice cream based on a teenager thinking you are cool, then you MUST be cool!
April 5th, 2008 at 10:20 pm, Half-Past Kissin' Time Says:
Wow! What a cutie little brother you have. However, I am dying to know the scoop on the crocheted headband thingy…I’ve never seen anything like that on a cool kid. What’s the story??
April 5th, 2008 at 10:22 pm, Half-Past Kissin' Time Says:
Sorry-didn’t mean to be rude. I’m just saying… I’m sure you live somewhere that cool kids wear headbands like that, and we live in Uncoolville…
April 6th, 2008 at 10:37 am, emily Says:
Oh to be young, cool and able to influence others to dish out free ice cream! Burke is precious- he doesn’t read your blog does he? Precious, pretty sure that isn’t a “cool” term to a teen!
The Battle Station fam is just about the coolest family that I know and that has been proved in this post. Actually, the mini-van post sealed the deal for me.
April 6th, 2008 at 3:15 pm, June GonnaEatThat Says:
No one related to me ever got anything as a result of being my kin. Mostly because I say things like “kin.” Your brother is so at the top of the heap! Man!
Also too? He looks like you. Funny how that works. I think Mendel may have touched on this phenomenon.
And I am with you on the computer thing. I have no idea how many times a day I say, “Get off the comupter.” I also do not know how many times a day I say, “Be nice to that cat” but that is more something I say to the dog and not germane to this conversation.
April 7th, 2008 at 10:10 am, Jess Says:
I would have felt the same way. Sounds to me like that girl is not the only one who likes Burke.
April 7th, 2008 at 11:52 am, shannon Says:
Your family is just disgusting. Talk about young and beautiful! How is that possible? You should all be soap opera stars!
I used to give free ice cream too…poor ice cream shop owner! lol.
April 7th, 2008 at 11:52 am, shannon Says:
just to clarify–you know I meant disgustingly gorgeous???
April 7th, 2008 at 12:37 pm, misty Says:
thats hilarious! He is cute though…
but I must be old too because I was feeling a tad empathetic for the owner too!
April 7th, 2008 at 9:04 pm, becca albertson Says:
So I seriously cannot believe that the famous Jamie from the Battle Station stopped by my blog! I started reading your blog b/c I found it on emily’s. You are very cool, my friend. I’m glad you liked my packing tips and cannot wait until you get to use them, too :). I’ve never been to Idaho… aren’t you in Idaho? Can we come visit someday?
Take care!
becca
April 7th, 2008 at 9:36 pm, Susan Says:
OMG! I just stumbled across your website - totally hilarious! Ours pales in comparison - you are an amazing writer! Amazing! Thanks for the laughs!
April 7th, 2008 at 11:08 pm, sari Says:
Ok I came by and saw this the other night but apparently in my stomach-flu stupor, I didn’t leave a comment!
Since I’m well now, I will say that FREE ICE CREAM ROCKS! Yum!!
April 9th, 2008 at 6:18 pm, Melissa Says:
Will the coolness ever end? Exactly how far does the Burke lovefest go? Could I use it here in Dallas? Could I just print off his picture and say really fast, “Iknowsomeonewhoisthiscooldude’ssister, how about some free ice cream for me?”
What d’ya think?
April 9th, 2008 at 6:38 pm, ruralaspirations Says:
I just stumbled across your blog. No, I’m not adopting (though I am adopted myself). In fact we don’t have a hell of lot in common, but I had to tell you that you are an amazing writer. Your sense of humour is delightful and I have been enjoying reading through your blog just for the smiles it puts on my face. Keep up the good work, and fingers crossed for your adoption!
April 9th, 2008 at 11:06 pm, becca Says:
Sorry I’ve been MIA lately. Between the moving and getting the entire inside of our house painted, it’s been a little crazy. I’ve still be reading faithfully, though, and laughing hysterically. If I were like 12-15 years younger, I would totally be in lust with your brother. I’m not, so that’s gross. But he looks so cute and sweet. I know he can’t be as sweet as he looks… they never are. You still trying to figure out whether or not to take him to Africa? Well, I guess you know for sure now. You have to take him- you might get free ice cream or whatever they eat in Africa.
Hey, can you email me please? I am in the middle of changing computers, so I don’t have my outlook address book. Thanks.
Oh yeah, and thanks for the nickname on my blog. I’ve never had one. Although I guess becca is technically a nickname. So, whatever, I guess I’ve had a nickname for my entire life. But you nicknamed my nickname. Thanks. And I think you’re a good momma too.