February 25, 2008
I would say that one of my best attributes and one of my worst attributes is the same attribute. It’s that I am incredibly naive and trusting of people. Like, too much so. To the point that I am going to be screwed over time and time again in the span of my life until I’m an 85 year old Ninny who hits people with her walker.
I feel it’s a positive in that I typically give people the benefit of the doubt and never rush to judgment. Unless, of course, you are sporting one of those “I hate women” or “I hate gay people” or “I hate puppies” shirts and I suppose in that case, the judging would ensue. But even then, I’m still nice. I just assume that you don’t know anything. And that’s sad, so I feel sorry for you. Plus, you have a REALLY ugly shirt.
I feel it’s a negative attribute in that I get screwed over. And it takes me about 3 days longer to figure out that I have been screwed over than the average human being. A lot can happen in 3 days. You know?
The other day I got a call on my cell that was an area code “210″ number. This is not an Idaho number or any number I recognize from out of state either. I answer and wouldn’t you know it? It was a SCAM ARTIST! A real live one. The call went like this:
Hello, Ms. Battle Station?
Yes.
This is Mr. Buttface McGoo calling from the Idaho Statesman Newspaper.
Okay.
I’m calling because it looks like you recently canceled with our service (this is TOTALLY true, btw) and we would like to offer you a great deal to get you back on subscription with us.
Well shucks! That sounds fantastic Mr. Buttface McGoo! Tell me more!
Well, Ms. Battle Station, we would offer you an introductory rate of only $1.00 an issue AND we will waive your unpaid bill!
Uh. Hold up there Partner. We have an unpaid bill?
Yes, Ma’am, it looks as though you do. An unpaid bill of $46.38.
You don’t say?
But Ma’am, we can waive that unpaid bill for you and get you all set up again with our Newspaper if you can give me your credit card information.
Well I’m just confused about the unpaid bill. Let me have you talk to my husband. He pays the bills.
Mike: Hello? We don’t have an unpaid bill. We are paid in full. And we don’t want to renew our subscription. Thank you bye.
I was all, but BABE! Are you sure?! You just hung up on poor Mr. Buttface! He said he would give us a great deal!
So, then Mike decides he should call back just to be TRIPLE sure that our bill was paid in full and wouldn’t you know it? The number didn’t go through when we called back. And when we called the Idaho Statesman, the REAL Idaho Statesman, they had no record of calling us and still showed us paid in full.
The rat bastard had me fooled. And I was pretty mad about it. How dare he! The GALL! To be a scam artist is one thing but to call and try to scam ME! Well that was another.
Mike did some research and entered the number onto Google. Apparently, this number has been a scam number for years and has been reported time and time again on the web as being a well operated scam ring. And everyone said they’d call again. And probably a few more times again after that with different scams each time.
We were ready. Bring it on Buttface.
A few weeks went by and just yesterday, they called again. I was caught off guard since it had been a few weeks, but the call went like this:
ringringring
Me: Hello?
(music and automated voice): This is USAA (military benefits company) calling, we have an important message for you, but all of our service representatives are busy right now. Please hold.
Me: (Uh, weird. But okay).
(music, then someone picks up): Hello?
Hello?
Helloooooo?
Yes, hello?
Hi, is Mr. Battle Station there?
He is not, can I ask who’s calling?
This is Mr. StankMouth McBean calling from USAA.
Me: (WARNING! WARNING! RED FLAG! RED FLAG!) Oh really. And how do I know you are calling from USAA?
Well is this Mr. Battle Station’s wife?
Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. Maybe you’re full of crap.
(pause) Well….. if this is Mr. Battle Station’s wife, I can divulge the information to you.
Okay. Okay, what’s his wife’s name? Huh? I’m on ALL the records, what’s my name, Playa?!?
(pause) Well….. let me look a little deeper in the file here.
(loooooong pause here) And then I hung up on him.
BOOM! Take THAT Scammers! Scam me, nu-uh! Scam THIS! Ain’t HAPPENIN!
And that’s how I broke the mold, the naivety mold. The weak and broken mold that WAS me, shattered. So, I’d like to thank the scammers that thought they could penetrate the firewall of skepticism that is me now. Because now I am tested and true, UN-SCAMMABLE, thanks to them.
And that’s the story of how I emerged victorious from the battle of the scammers.
And on another note, I’d like to tell you all that my massage with Tarah the other night was the most phenomenal, marvelous experience of my life. She’s like a healer. A master of hands. A Goddess, really. I am in love.
Posted by Jamie @ 2:09 pm • random goodness
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February 25th, 2008 at 2:25 pm, misty Says:
How did they get access to the Statesman records that you just cancelled service, I wonder? Very odd.
I am far too cynical and untrusting. I am sure the honest people I encounter would love for me to have some of your trust!
February 25th, 2008 at 2:55 pm, becca Says:
Well, we have that in common, the naivety. I’m getting better, but it’s hard. I like thinking people are nice. But I don’t want to get scammed either. You’re like Oprah, Jamie. You have changed my life with your experience. And now I’ll be ready for them.
February 25th, 2008 at 3:01 pm, Jess Says:
You are awesome. Go you! Take THAT, Mr. StankMouth McBean!
Also, Torsten has a similar positive/negative quality to yours. He doesn’t TRUST everyone instinctively per se but he always sees the good in people and assumes that they will do the good, right thing the way that he would. This can also lead to him getting screwed and/or taking on way more responsibility than he should. But I love about him that he is such a good person himself and has true belief that other people are the same way.
February 25th, 2008 at 3:03 pm, Jane Says:
Way to go! How sad that the 210 area code belongs to south Texas. A poor representation of my great state!!
February 25th, 2008 at 3:13 pm, my minivan is faster than yours Says:
I’m glad you’re onto them skanks. They should be ashamed of themselves.
But hey, I’ve got some oceanfront property here in Arizona…real cheap!!
February 25th, 2008 at 4:22 pm, habesha child Says:
You GO you formerly-naive-now-tough-as-nails-avenger chick. I feel better about the state of the world already.
February 25th, 2008 at 4:58 pm, GoodlifeGal Says:
You GO Girl! I thought you were going to say the Statesman was going to bill you for “extending your subscription as a courtesy” while it waited for you to change your mind about cancellation.
The Statesman has been pretty thin lately…I’ve considered canceling, too…
February 25th, 2008 at 7:55 pm, Renee in Seattle Says:
Oh, I’ve said it before but it’s just so true!!! You are me!!! (again, it bears repeating, only younger, thinner, prettier, blah blah blah) I would sooo fall for that scam… it is so sophisticated. and… (gulp) I pay the bills, so I would be anxious to clear it up, offering up all manner of debit card and credit card numbers over the phone in order to do so… (shudder)
February 26th, 2008 at 12:57 am, Tarah Says:
Hey Jamie,
Glad you aren’t gullable anymore! I keep getting e-mails from Africa pleading for help. All they need is my bank account to transfer funds.
Glad you enjoyed the massages. I was waiting to hear about the torture you indured in your next blog!
We missed you at our Ethiopian dinner! We will have another soon. I still have buckets of Wat and plates of injera they all left here!!!
February 26th, 2008 at 1:12 am, Julie Says:
Scary with the scammers! Hey, but don’t you just love USAA???
February 26th, 2008 at 5:14 am, haze Says:
Mr. StankMouth McBean - LOL!!
Good for you! It is so discouraging & disheartening to be a trusting person, willing to see the best in everyone, while living in such a sometimes nasty, lying & thieving world. sigh.
I’m happy for you that you had the opp to talk to those bastids again and let them know you are on to them!!
February 26th, 2008 at 5:00 pm, sari Says:
I’m glad you figured it out. Stupid jerks.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:48 pm, melissa Says:
Oh yes. We have those people call us all the time. If there’s even the slightest pause, I hang up. It doesn’t always work out so well for me. I’ve hung up on my dad a couple of times.
February 26th, 2008 at 11:49 pm, Stacy Says:
Hi,
I know that you don’t know me that well, but I don’t have a lot of blogging friends and I have to tag six people. Don’t feel bad if you don’t want to do it!
The rules are, each player must post 6 facts/habits about themselves. At the end of the post, the player tags 6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blog and leaves them a comment letting them know they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
February 27th, 2008 at 10:32 am, Katy Says:
You’ll probably get a letter saying that all your benefits will be cancelled due to non-cooperation unless you call them back immediately.
I fell for the whole “you have already won two round trip tickets to anywhere in the continental US. All you have to do is show up and listen to our time share presentation” shpiel once. I showed up, listened, did not get handed free tickets, and FREAKED OUT on the people. They totally deserved it.
February 28th, 2008 at 11:06 pm, Gwen Says:
Hey I got a similar call, but they said that they were calling from US Pharmacies and I needed to update my presciptions, but I don’t have any presciptions. Long story short…..they are fishing for info. Trying to get your ccard, ssc# or anything else to try and get you identity or a way to screw you over. When I figured it out and they called me back, which they will do, I told them that I knew they were scammers and what they did. The guy got all snotty with me and said, “you know everything huh?” I said, “yea. I do and I am not stupid enough to fall for your scams.” He hung up on me and I haven’t heard from him again.
I love your blog and especially love your posts about the Fugees!
March 1st, 2008 at 9:55 pm, half-past kissin' time Says:
Good for you!! (The Bastards!)
I wish Tarah was my friend…