February 18, 2008
Me: Hey, I am having my friend Tarah come over to give us massages on Wednesday night.
Mike: Who’s Tarah?
Me: A friend.
Mike: From where?
Me: From our adoption group and blogging.
Mike: Well…….that’s creepy.
Me: Why?
Mike: Well I don’t know, what does she do for a living? Is she a masseuse?
Me: Yes she’s a masseuse, what do you think, I just invite, like, our Realtor over to give us a good rub down? Of course she’s a masseuse.
Mike: Well…. good.
Me: Alright then. Good talk.
We are a massage couple. Usually on holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, time periods in which we are so immensely stressed out and insane with tired, etc… we get massages and can’t begin to tell you how much we love them. We both emerge from our room at the spa looking like as though we are emerging from an opium den at Woodstock. The relaxation and complete loss of tenseness and stress, well, I don’t think I was that relaxed even as an infant. My Mom will attest to this, I have revolted and despised the human touch from day one, even as a breast-feeding newborn. Remember this story? I am not one to touch or be touched. But massages have never been a problem. And I think it’s because I carry ALL my stress in the shoulders, like most women do, and the massage bit just gets rid of it all. I don’t need a counselor, I just need a massage.
And can I say that finding a good masseuse is probably just as hard, if not harder than finding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Do you not concur, internet? Has everyone reading not had the most horrid and awful massage experience in their life because of the masseuse?
The masseuse.
Word to the wise? When you are making casual chit chat with a client as you’re starting a massage and you finagle the details out of him that he’s a soldier getting ready to head to Iraq for a year, just a little tidbit of masseuse protocol, don’t discuss bloody war details and staggering death statistics over the duration of your massage with said client. It’s not actually THAT relaxing. Thanks so much.
And another quick tip? When a client says “Ow, that hurts” and maybe follows that up with “HOLY CRAP, THAT REALLY HURTS” and then possibly mentions again a few minutes later that you must “STOP DOING THAT, PLEASE JUST STOP!” It maaaaaaaay be beneficial in the end that you stop. Stop the torture. I promise, the client will NEVER return or refer friends to you if you PHYSICALLY HURT them the entire hour. A good indicator? A helpful tell-tale sign? When the clients hands start SWEATING from the pain. I’m just sayin.
Lastly, and this is mostly just a request on my part, a simple preference really. Please don’t use random knick-knacks and gizmo object thingies on my body. I don’t want Inspector Gadget to give me my massage. Really, I could ask my 4 year old to bring in her new Hannah Montana lip gloss kit and poke and prod my back for an hour if I wanted this effect. Just plain ol’ hands on back action is what I’m lookin for. The trinkets and lockets are not my thing. Sorry.
But when it’s good? Holy moly, it’s goooooood. When the light music is going, the blankets are soft and comfy, the massage starts with my feet since they are always icicles, the masseuse is ROCKIN the good grub of rub, it’s just phenomenal.
And on a side note, if and when ya’ll go to Playa del Carmen Mexico and stay at the Riu Palace Mexico, head down to the beach and you’ll see a cabana with three pristinely white massage tables set up with a picturesque view of the ocean behind it. STOP THERE. Be eternally glad you did.
Wednesday will be lovely, I can’t wait. It’s what I live for right now, is Wednesday. If I post a half-logical and rambling post on Thursday, you’ll know why. Which is funny, since all my posts are half-logical and rambling. Get it? That’s funny.
Posted by Jamie @ 9:18 pm • random goodness, Mike
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February 18th, 2008 at 10:22 pm, Half-Past Kissin' Time Says:
OMG, I laughed so hard at the Inspector Gadget paragraph! I, too, love a good massage. (My son does, too, so we take him to the school of massage every semester that he gets straight A’s; major motivator.)
The best massage I ever got was from a man who was not so good looking as to make me feel like I was cheating on my husband, nor unattractive enough to scare me. He was perfectly average. My world-traveler friend had told me that if you want them to do your butt muscles, you don’t wear underwear. Dying to have my butt done (sorry), I took a risk, and it was fantastic. The massage therapist was perfect; professional, quiet, and not chatty; perfect. Thanks for the memories…
February 19th, 2008 at 12:03 am, Melissa Says:
I.am.a.loser. I’ve never had a massage. Never. Loser? Yes.I.am.
Trey got me a gift certificate for Valentines day so I’ll let you know when I use it!
February 19th, 2008 at 3:20 am, nicki Says:
I too cannot stand the touchy touchy. Unfortunately that includes massages. I tried it again recently with a hot stone massage and was like, “What the heck is going on here?”. The weirdness was too much for me.
February 19th, 2008 at 3:55 am, dcrmom Says:
Ahhhhhhh… The massage. I love a good massage. But I’ve only had two or three in my LIFE. I really prefer facials, frankly.
February 19th, 2008 at 10:23 am, Chandra Says:
I’ve never had a massage either but I have a gift certificate waiting to be used that I fully intend on cashing in soon. Enjoy your massage with Tarah! She is such a sweetheart
I hope things get figured out soon Jamie! I’ve been thinking about you.
HUGS (in a touchy, feeling, freak you out sort of way)
Chatter
February 19th, 2008 at 10:40 am, Jess Says:
We were thinking about Mexico for our honeymoon (though we are also thinking about Brazil, and Panama, and Thailand) and also about the Riu because Torsten loves those hotels. So it’s funny that you mention them. I will keep the massage recommendation in mind. Mmm. God I love massages.
February 19th, 2008 at 5:03 pm, emily Says:
As I lay here in bed, nursing a virus- how scrumptious does a massage sound? Moody and I also LOVE a good massage.
How about when you are ready to go to that wonderfully blissful quiet place and they keep on talking, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk— right through the nature music and everything. I would have paid a shrink if I wanted to talk for an hour:)
Enjoy my friend, enjoy.
February 19th, 2008 at 6:44 pm, Utah Jennifer Says:
I have been thinking about you a lot lately… hoping with each new post that there would be some mention of those beautiful ones in Ethiopia. Since you and the boyfriend are needing massages, then I am going to assume that you haven’t heard anything. (I could probably also assume that since I haven’t seen the airplane overhead with the banner reading Jamie and Mike got their referral!)
One good thing to think about… So You Think You Can Dance is going to be on in less than two months.
Another good thing to think about… you can come hang out with my beautiful ones from Ethiopia anytime you are in the neighborhood.
Enjoy the massage. And take care of you.
February 19th, 2008 at 8:54 pm, Tarah Says:
Jamie,
You crack me up! So, I hope I live up to “great massage” status. If not, maybe the world will read about it. hee hee
OK, who uses gizmos to do a massage? Seriously? Hmm, sketchy.
Look forward to seeing you both tomorrow.
T
February 20th, 2008 at 3:22 am, Julie Says:
Ah man… I love a good massage. My massage therapist is “Sascha from Russia”. Russian masseuse… good. Russian OB/GYN checking how far you are dilated when you’re in labor… not so good.
Enjoy your massage!
February 20th, 2008 at 4:03 pm, mandymhelt Says:
Ahhhh — good massages are the best!!
February 21st, 2008 at 1:27 am, Celina Says:
I’m cheap - but not so cheap that I won’t get a massage (i.e. I allow students to practice on me). The massage school is only $30/hour - not bad and I’ve gotten a great massage every time . . . however: Dear sir who was across the room from me the last time I got a massage,
When you get a massage in a giant room that only has canvas hung up to obscure your naked hairy (i can only assume - you sounded like the hairy type) body, it is ENTIRELY INAPPROPRIATE to moan, groan and say things like . . . well lets keep this “G” rated.
The end.
February 22nd, 2008 at 3:37 am, Shannon Says:
Hey Jamie, OT but you can you give Laurie at Pho for Four some mini-van love?
p.s. you should hear some of the hilarious massage stories from Vietnam…
February 24th, 2008 at 9:45 pm, tiffani Says:
hey jamie!
wanna play a blogging game? me neither, but I did, and you can too! I don’t have many blogging friends, and really I just wanted an excuse to point people in your direction, so I’m tagging you. do with it what you will.
list 6 inconsequential or significant things about yourself, whatever you like really, and then tag 6 (or however many you like) other bloggers to play along.
ya know, if you want to…
happy day!
tiffani
http://twotriplekayaks.wordpress.com