January 18, 2008
Well, Disgusting couple had their baby. A beautiful, perfect baby boy. I couldn’t be more happy for them.
As my girlfriends and I sat in the waiting room waiting for Abby to push her kid out, (which, insanely, only took 25 minutes to do) we made each other laugh, reminisced on how long we’ve all been friends, how life changes so fast and how Abby was TOTALLY PUSHING A BABY OUT HER VAJAYJAY RIGHT THEN.
It was a memorable moment, sitting there with best friends in a hospital waiting room while our sweet Abby became a Mom. And in that moment I realized that if I was a semi-finalist in the Miss America pageant and Mario Lopez asked me the on-stage question of “what is my wish for the world”, my answer would be not that every person have a puppy, it would be that every person have friends like mine, to have the experience of having super amazing friends like mine. And I would TOTALLY take the crown with that answer.
I know this is uncharacteristically cheesy of me, but I really cannot imagine a life without friends. Good friends, that is, because it seems everyone has known a few bad ones at one time in their lives. Or maybe you’re the baddy and in that case, you need to watch yourself some Steel Magnolias a few times. I can say with pride that I have no baddy friends, only supportive, uplifting, honest and stubborn friends. I really appreciate that I have them and even more so now because I am learning that this whole having good friends thing? Not so common actually.
I admit that I’m just now noticing this trend. Most people do not actually make friends in the 6th grade and then keep those same friends for 15 years as we have done in our little group of friends. And I suppose I have always taken that a bit for granted.
I don’t remember all that much from middle school, truthfully. I remember I was new, a little nerdy and desperately eager for people to like me. I don’t know when it officially started happening but before I knew it, I was making people laugh. All different kinds of people not just the usual Mormon kid crowd that I was accustomed to. I was amazed. I wasn’t intimidated by the cool kids. I could make the cool kids laugh.
Before I knew it, I was hanging out with the VERY kids that were cool that I have just spoken of. First at school, then magically and gradually, places outside of school. And eventually I was at their houses and eating their food. While still making them laugh. I was like a National Geographic Field-Study Journalist. I watched, I listened, I took notes, I assimilated myself among their species. And the cool kids? They TOTALLY pick bugs off each other’s backs and eat them like Gorillas do.
I remember one day, Erica called me. She was basically Grand Master of the Cool Kids so I was pretty stoked. I’m not sure if all the other girls were busy or if their pagers were off or what, but she asked ME (of all people) if I’d come over and talk. She was going through a God-awful, middle school break up and was wrought with agony as the end of her life was nigh. She, amazingly and courageously pulled through that devastating night. And I left feeling like I had just made a friend. She let me see her real side, her raw side. Her guts.
Soon after, the other girls spilled their guts too. There were guts all over the place. I saw Soandso’s NEAR MURDER at the hands of her twin sister. Soandso had a seven member family living in a 2 bedroom home. Soandso had Dad issues. Soandso had body image issues. The guts were bloated and stinky and twisted and we shared them with each other. At some point during the gut-spilling, I stopped seeing them as the cool kids. They were my friends, real live real friends.
Those friends and I stayed friends throughout high school. Throughout the boyfriend drama, the gossiping, the parties, the bridge-jumping and the Western Idaho Fair fights (lest you forgot I grew up in Boise Idaho). I know that talking about high school for some people is like inflicting a mass trauma head wound because for some people, it was THAT BAD, but (and I know this may make some of you hurl) for me high school was a breeze. And I know it was because I had these friends.
After high school, I did something I still regret. I wrote off the friends. I left for a long time and it looked as though they would never hear from me again. Truthfully, that was my intention. Not that they did anything to deserve this treatment. What happened was, I was yo-yo-ing. First, I tried my hand at the big bad city of Los Angeles and got my butt kicked. Then I got scared and ran the OPPOSITE direction back into a Mormon church. And feeling safe again, I decided I would stay there. So I wrote off anyone who wasn’t Mormon and that included pretty much my whole entire group of friends. This embarrassing chapter lasted 2 years. I missed out on a LOT during those crucial college years, let me tell you.
After about a year of marriage I casually mentioned to Mike that I wanted my friends back. The whole marriage thing was fun, but it didn’t replace my need for my girlfriends in my life.
Obviously, they took me back. This would be some bummer of a story if they didn’t, I would guess. And ever since we have lived happily ever after. But the After now includes Husbands, kids, jobs and mortgages instead of matching necklaces and tape mixes. Although I still think I have those somewhere.
So, Mario Lopez, my wish for the world is that everyone have those kinds of friends. The ones that share guts with you, give you second chances, make you laugh and most of all, tell you when you are acting like a complete schmo. (applause here)
THEN:
NOW:
Posted by Jamie @ 6:33 pm • my friends are better than yours
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January 18th, 2008 at 7:03 pm, Erica B. Says:
Here I am!
Wow……what a flash back of fun pictures. I LOVE this entry. I cannot tell you how much I think how damn lucky I am every single day to have you girls in my life. You are my sisters forever and we are family. I love you and am SO happy that we did get our Jamie back after crazy mormon-ville. 
We were POPULAR (that’s an iside joke for everyone else reading this)!!! Love ya!
January 18th, 2008 at 7:21 pm, Lori Says:
I am one of the other lucky ones to have these friendships… We’ve (five of us) been best friends since fourth,fifth, and sixth grade (we met at different times). And I am ten years your senior, so it does last…. If you ever saw a picture of us from high school, you wouldn’t feel very old! :0 Good stuff! Having a best friends for twenty six years is just crazy… I never got how rare it was until I was around your age too. Now I know how unusual it is!
January 18th, 2008 at 9:36 pm, julie Says:
This is great. My dad is still friends with the 8-10 guys he was friends with in MS and HS. They went off to the military, some to college, got married and moved around, but they still all get together often. The ones that we lived near as kids we saw every weekend. The ones farther out we saw a few times a year and at all the graduations and such. It makes me so happy to see my dad have those relationships. I’m so jealous. I have my friends from HS, but they all live 600+ miles away. Here, I have almost no one yet (just moved 4 months ago) and it’s lonely. Yea for you for recognizing and appreciating a true gift!
January 18th, 2008 at 9:53 pm, Julie Says:
“big bad city of Los Angeles”??? Come back… please!
Great story though. Hey, you’re friends with Lisa Welchel!!! (last picture) I’m so jealous…
January 19th, 2008 at 1:16 am, emily Says:
ahhh…..so sweet! Girlfriends do rock:)
January 19th, 2008 at 1:21 am, Jennifer England Says:
I am so glad that you have such awesome girlfriends. I am even more glad that they let you back in the click after your “Mormon adventure”. But I am most glad that you willingly say the word “va-jay-jay” on your blog. Thank you!
January 19th, 2008 at 4:29 am, Emma Says:
Nice dog tags! You must have been cool.
Can’t believe how ridiculously good looking your friends are.
This entry made me think of a little ditty that someone wrote in my autograph book in 6th grade:
——-
Make new friends, but keep the old.
For one is silver, the other gold.
——-
January 19th, 2008 at 5:05 am, Nicki Says:
You’re so right that marriage, as wonderful as it can be, will never replace great girlfriends. Mine are the sisters I never had - and I just wouldn’t be me without them!
January 19th, 2008 at 2:48 pm, Jess Says:
What a sweet story, and what adorable pictures. You’re lucky to have your friends, and they’re lucky to have you too.
January 19th, 2008 at 3:20 pm, Ericka Says:
Jaime, what a beautiful post!!! You are so very blessed with some AWESOME friends!!!!!
For the life of me, I can’t find that post on waiting. The site I thought had it had deleted a bunch of posts and I’m pretty sure it was one that was deleted. I’m so sorry
January 19th, 2008 at 5:36 pm, mandy Says:
Great friends are the best! What a beautiful post about the blessing of girlfriends…
January 19th, 2008 at 7:37 pm, betina Says:
Wow! Your friends are all hot. Can’t wait to see pics of the baby, who (based on their parents) is also destined to be hot. But cute for now.
January 19th, 2008 at 9:47 pm, sari Says:
Girlfriends are the best, aren’t they? I had a lot of friends when I was younger, but then in my 20’s I moved away as well and lost touch with everyone.
Now I have a great group of friends that I wouldn’t trade for anything, and it really makes me happy. We haven’t known each other since 6th grade, but that’s ok. We’ll know each other until we’re 80.
Love the pictures!
January 20th, 2008 at 2:18 pm, misty Says:
This is so true… And I have great friends that I have encountered as an adult (and crappy ones) but my dearest friends are the ones I carried over from school… My friends also made high school a really amazing time in my life. So i totally get this!
January 20th, 2008 at 7:25 pm, Abby Says:
Jamie- that almost brought tears to my eyes! We are so lucky to have such a wonderful group of friends!! I thank God everyday for each and every one of you! It’s so fun to look back at ALL we’ve been through- from our big brawl at the fair to our more recent memories of Dee-Dee’s B-day party! It was so nice to see the ones I love most there in the hospital room after I entered the Mommy Club! I love all you gals and I can’t wait to make some more memories!
January 22nd, 2008 at 11:44 am, Liesl Says:
That was for real one of my faves of your posts. (Wow, I just typed a really awkward sentence) But seriously, that was awesome, and SO true. I am blessed with an amazing husband, but even he can’t take the place of having quality girlfriends as well. And, moving to a completely new state a year and a half ago and still seeking those great girlfriendships…I agree, they are not as common as we thought they were when we were in school. I enjoyed your stories very much