December 15, 2007
This post may come as a surprise to many friends who know me. Many family members who love me. And you all, who may or may not think I’m cool.
I haven’t even forewarned my girlfriends about this post. Or about this life changing decision that I ALREADY made. I couldn’t let them know because they would have talked me out of it, they would have told me that my actions were IRREVOCABLE and FINAL in their eyes. And in God’s eyes.
But it was such a deeply personal and emotional decision that I knew it had to be made within the confines of our family unit. Just Mike, Delaney, Myself and our two future kids. And Rick and Wendy.
Because who else do you call while in such a grievous position but the people who have been there themselves? Who else CAN you call? It’s the same in virtually all aspects of life, you call those who know, who KNOW KNOW, and you bind together to love and support each other. We would not have been able to make this decision, to come to these terms, to CHANGE OUR LIVES as we have without Rick and Wendy. And this post is dedicated to them for that reason. They were the first call we made. It went like this:
(This is Wendy, please leave a message after the tone) “Wendy?! Wendy, I need you, it’s Jamie. I need you to call me right away. We did it. We really, truly went through with it and now I need you to guide me through this difficult time. Call me back.”
A couple minutes later, the phone rings back.
“Hello?”
“WHAT’S UP MINIVAN MOMMA!?!? YOU SEXY AWESOME MINIVAN DRIVING MOM!!!!”
And that’s how it went. Because if she would have called back any other way, I might have stared crying. I was in such a fragile state of mind considering that I had voluntarily and single handedly morphed into my Mother overnight, that I took what’s left of my reckless unbridled soul and STABBED it to death with the equivalent of a fanny pack and that right then my new inner soul was wearing mom jeans, any other response from Wendy would have sent me over the edge. Anything even remotely close to “It’s okay, you’ll get used to it, you’ll adjust” would have sent me into a catalytic state of minivan remorse.
And once you let yourself go there, go into minivan remorse, it’s a slippery slope down to shopping at walmart with your wet hair in a side scrunchy. And before you know it, Oprah found you and plopped you on her stage while exclaiming “Can you BELIEVE she has been wearing this moo-moo for THIRTY YEARS PEOPLE!”
You simply can’t go there. You must OWN IT, you must OWN that son-of-a-van like it’s your mother-ownin dream car, friends. And Wendy. She helped me do that. And it is now my mission to make sure EVERYONE, EVERY SINGLE WOMAN has a Wendy to do the same for them.
She told me of how her and Rick have never regretted having a minivan, how it’s the most amazing vehicle ever created. She told me of how it drives like a dream and it’s only until they catch site of themselves in a passing window do they forget that they aren’t driving a fancy SUV. She told me tales of comfortable road trips and abundance of storage space. And best of all, she told me of how delusionally easy it is to transport 3 young kids around.
In our old car (with a JOKE of a third row seat that was only accessible by folding down and then CLIMBING OVER the middle row), with three car seats in there, I know myself, the VERY FIRST time I tried to take all three kids somewhere I would have lost my mind. I would have had a major meltdown in the Target parking lot and would have called Mike to have him come meet me there to help fasten all seat belts and tell the staring people that “there’s nothing to see here, move along”. Anything to prevent a meltdown at Target is advisable. Target needs to stay my happy place.
After my pep talk with Wendy, I told her to have Rick call Mike and “do for him what you just did for me”. And so, on the way home, in our minivan, we discussed our new selves in our new minivan.
Me: Our friends. They are going to die.
Mike: Whatever. They are almost here. They are almost to the crossroads of minivan life. We are forging the way. They’ll thank us Babe, they’ll thank us. We’re making Minivan cool for the group and they’ll thank us for it later. We’ll get that call, just like Rick and Wendy did.
Me: That person is not letting us in because we’re in a minivan. We get NO RESPECT NOW! They hate us!
Mike: No, honey, they don’t hate us, they just don’t SEE us. We are the invisible minivan drivers now. We should rob a bank!
The End.
But, I’d like to formally introduce you to Wendy now. She is not only the COOLEST minivan driving Momma I know, she is also incredibly talented and skilled in the ways of creativityness. For example:
For ordering, go to www.landslidejewelry.com or it’s on the right sidebar under “Paprazzi always ask where I get my jewelry. Wendy makes it”. Also, because Wendy loves me, she says she’ll give 10% of any orders to our adoption cost if you mention my name (my name holds incredible power whenever mentioned). But really, her stuff is the most stylish, classy and well made stuff out there. She rocks.
Love,
Jamie
Posted by Jamie @ 1:27 am • random goodness
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December 15th, 2007 at 3:15 am, Melissa Says:
ok. I think I’m the first to reply to this post. Travis asked me what I was up to… why I was re-positioning myself to be comfortable and ready to concentrate and I lovingly said no one who knows me would understand how important this reply is, for I, too, have been in the position of purchasing a minivan because it was the only thing we could afford with children. In my previous relationship. There are some things that never can be forgotten, some things just shape who you are, I suppose. I couldn’t believe it and didn’t want to admit it. But the first time I loaded up the bags of groceries, I thought how wonderful it was and what others were missing. Yes, I was enjoying convenience over fashion, I was nothing less than shocked at myself, it’s true. But over time, the smiles on the kids’ face was so much better than my own I had driving the small car suited for myself and me alone that I had previously enjoyed. And nothing mattered after that. Why didn’t everyone own one of these magical vehicles… these cars that seemed to fit my whole life inside. I suddenly had a whole new respect for all soccer moms out there. They knew the answer to the secret… no wonder they were always smiling… All I have to say is you are the sexiest family to ever drive a mini van and congratulations for being that! You are the first of many of your friends… it’s just a matter of time… believe me. They will all see soon enough
I have never admitted it and even if you returned the car right now, I wouldn’t take it back. Yes, maybe someday I’ll admit it to Trav, hopefully he’ll love me anyways, hee hee.
December 15th, 2007 at 9:20 am, amy Says:
I keep reminding myself that the minivan is just a transitory vehicle in our lives. We currently have 4 children, ages 8,6,almost 4 and 2, and they’re all still in some form of car seat. So I’m going to have that sucker for awhile, but it’s OK. We were the first of our friends to drive one too.
What frightens me the most, actually, is the thought of having to “upgrade” to a larger vehicle if we have more children. Nothing as sexy as a 12 passenger van.
December 15th, 2007 at 11:02 am, Big Mama Says:
Girl, you own that minivan and be proud. Secretly, everyone else is envying your ability to slide that door open.
And that jewelry? By Wendy? I will be thinking about it for the rest of the day. And probably, the rest of my life.
December 15th, 2007 at 11:43 am, Melissa Says:
You will be the smokin’est minivan drivin’est mom of 3 on the road. I WILL draw the line at mom jeans with the 9 inch zipper. DRAW THE LINE.
December 15th, 2007 at 12:04 pm, Stephanie Says:
I arned to drive on my moms astro van, and I looked at it like I could pack more friends into it. But still I secretly longed for something small and sporty.
Then I got my Ford Explorer, but the AC went out and we decided perhaps it was worth it to invest in a minivan. Or this is me: “I want NO I *NEED* a mini van, they have those sliding doors on the keychain.” Hubby: “No I am not driving a mini van” Me: “No one said you could drive it. It’s going to be MINE all MINE!I drive the girls, I need something big”.
We had to get rid of the minivan but its so nice, no kids hitting each other because they can’t REACH each other. A DvD for long trips and blissful silence. You hae space to move and move. Hubby actually misses our van now. I miss our van.
But while driving my minivan I wanted a license plate that said BAM. Bad ___ Mama. Why? Because we are, mini van moms know that the minivan is comfort and a little peace.
You’re going to love it Jamie, and with 3 kids. You need room for the toys you have to keep on supply, the emergency supply of snacks (crackers and such). This could be a mobile command center for your family.
Congratulations on taking this step.
December 15th, 2007 at 12:24 pm, Jenifer Says:
Jamie; here’s how I happened upon your blog; I saw Wendy’s jewelry at Swiss Days this past fall in Utah. I came home and Googled her company name. Up came your blog. I love reading your posts.
So, I remember the day 7 years ago, after our car got totaled in a wreck and we had spent a full three days exploring the options for Our Next Car, that we looked at each other and knew. We saw the surrender in each other’s eyes. We had been stubbornly trying to stick to notion and telling ourselves every five minutes that “We are just not minivan people!” And then in one ecstatic moment of marital harmony, we came to the realization that; “Yes we are.” And it beacame okay, and we bought The Cadillac of Minivans (my husband said that at the time to smooth my feathers out just a little) and never looked back.
I am now finished having my kids and am blissfully spending hundreds of hours driving their pre-teen selves around the town - all their stuff and all their friends - and I am still pretty hot, if I do say so myself.
Let me give you this nugget to chew on; in just six more years, with any luck, I will only have one left at home, and he will be driving….(the minivan?) Sometimes my thoughts go here; “What will I get next? Who will I be when I am not this?” The possibilities are endless, and fascinating and exciting. But it makes me want to hold onto this part as long as I can. Have fun. Don’t let your van get piggy. Clean it up and love it. Make everbody take their crap when they get out and your future will be sweet.
December 15th, 2007 at 2:24 pm, dcrmom Says:
Oh how well do I remember this transformation. It was painful. Traumatically so. But I survived. And so will you. And the best part? The invisible thing is really TRUE! I have sped by more cops than I can count in the left land of the interstate going 80 mph and I have never once been stopped. It’s miraculous, I tell ya. So yeah, EMBRACE THE MINIVAN. Embrace it, girlfriend. It’s your new reality.
December 15th, 2007 at 2:46 pm, Jennifer England Says:
Ok…thanks Jamie… now I feel like CRAP! I am SOOOO that mom who justifies cramming my four car seated children into an SUV because “My husband needs the SUV to tow his four wheelers around”. Now, ask me how many times my SUV has towed ANYTHING!
So, congratulations on being a far better mom than I am. And congratulations on the kick-ass mini-van!
December 15th, 2007 at 3:26 pm, Erica Says:
Okay….so first I JUST have to say this ONE time and one time only….OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!! Because I love and support my best friends, I will agree…the mini, ugh..I’m trying to say it…..van (gulp) is probably a good purchase for you. If any of us can pull off the minivan look, then it’s definitely the Battle Station family. It’s a weird feeling right now. Mostly because I seriously feel like just 2 days ago we were riding around in Steff’s MOM’S minivan in high school…..not owning our own!! Here I am not even in the beginning stages of having children and there YOU go buying a minivan…..it’s freaking me out a bit. You will ROCK that van which is very unlikely a MINI, and I’ll love you all the same. My little Delaney’s future minivan happiness also makes me smile and appreciate your ability to be ahead of the curve.
December 15th, 2007 at 4:06 pm, Julie Says:
Welcome to the hot mamas driving minivans club!!!
December 15th, 2007 at 4:17 pm, Sandcastle Momma Says:
I can feel your pain, I fought the battle for many years before finally giving in and making the dreaded purchase. But I can honestly say that having a vehicle that my 3 kids can sit in without touching each other has made my driving life much more bearable and certainly has decreased the kid’s chances of being left on the side of the road by a woman who has been pushed to her limit LOL And the best part is that date night in a minivan can be a LOT of fun. The Island King and I might not look as cool in the van as we did in my convertible but we have lots more room for having adult fun LOL And it could be worse - you could be driving one of those grandma/cop car Crown Victorias LOL
December 15th, 2007 at 6:09 pm, JMC Says:
We took the plunge a little over a year ago, just before I had our fourth child. Up to that point, we had three kids crammed in a too-small-for-three-kids back seat, bickering non-stop. And yet we persevered that way because of the minivan stigma. But finally, we were going to have more kids than seating. So minivan shopping and buying we went. And WE LOVE IT!!! It is automobile heaven! The kids can’t reach one another to hit, they aren’t crammed in so tight that they are always touching one another and then hitting because the other one is touching. It’s great. I feel stupid for not doing it sooner.
December 15th, 2007 at 10:08 pm, Nicki Says:
Hey, congratulations. It’s not as bad as it seems (most of the time). I just got one for mother’s day last year and I have to say it is convenient. Not cool, but convenient. And I’m not sure why, but it gets way dirtier than my other car. I think it’s because I don’t care about it. But, when you have three kids in car seats, what are ya gonna do right?
December 16th, 2007 at 10:50 am, Jess Says:
Your kids will always know that you really love them, because look at the amazing sacrifices that you make for them. Seriously. Also, Wendy sounds like quite the amazing person.
December 16th, 2007 at 9:48 pm, Ms. Karen Says:
I remember our minivan. We got it when I we were about to have our third kid and we were running out of doors on the other car.
So it was fun, hauling everything and everyone around, then one night, Himself and I took the back seats out of the van, and found a nice quiet (kid-free) place to, um, park the van, and, um, well, um… yeah.
You cannot do that in the back of a Honda without getting some kind of charley horse!
December 17th, 2007 at 1:22 pm, Sarah Says:
LOL! I MISS my minivan… donwgraded to a Toyota Highlander and I HATE IT when kids crawl over that second row seat to get into the back. Am thinking of going back… glad to hear that more hot mamas are driving them out there, makes the decision easier!
Can’t wait to see a picture of all three carseats (with kids) strapped in!!
Sarah
December 17th, 2007 at 5:35 pm, Abby Says:
Jamie,
Oh I love it! You’re adorable family is going to look so sylish in your Minivan! I can’t wait to see you all in it!
Erica that is so true about Steff’s mom cruisin’ in the Mini!!! We truly need to write this one down and remember Jamie was the FIRST out of all of us to own one… good for you for being way ahead of all of us! 
December 17th, 2007 at 6:15 pm, Fully Operational Battle Station » Minivan pictures Says:
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