October 16, 2007
Mike: You didn’t do anything, did you?
Me: No, did you?
Mike: You promise? Because I haven’t done ANYTHING
Me: Really, I didn’t and am not planning to.
Mike: Do not get me a present. Do not buy me anything. DO NOT write me a nice letter, okay?
Me: Okay. You don’t either. I hate nice letters.
Mike: Okay.
Me: I guess I should make some dinner reservations…..
Mike: Ya. What are you thinkin? Arby’s? heh heh. Get it? Thinkin Arby’s?…….
(silence)
Me: This is going to be our MOST romantic anniversary EVER I think.
Six years. Six whole years together. That’s a long time. Over the last 6 years of marriage, Mike has done some pretty extravagant acts on our Anniversaries. There was the private flight over Boise in his buddy’s twin engine plane, there was the time he rented a Limo and took me to a fancy Fondue Restaurant, the surprise weekend to Nevada, the Bed and Breakfast on an Elk Reserve in the mountains and plenty of spa pamperings. All of which, I won’t lie, I loved.
But this year, we’re broke as a joke. Brrr-oke. And really busy. So busy, in fact, that the most exciting part of our Anniversary was that we were actually TOGETHER for it. Alone, together.
I don’t know if it’s because we are broke and tired or if it’s because we are getting old and boring, but we really were relieved that all we were doing was a simple dinner and movie, something that we used to do on a weekly basis in our previous life (previous life as in 6 months ago).
Don’t get me wrong, being able to pamper your Lover (eww I HATE that word. My Lover. Blech.) is fun but there’s also something really …. nice about just kickin it wit cha gangsta, yanno? Just bypassing all the hoopla and enjoying each other’s company for a change. We went to dinner, I talked Mike’s ear off, we had dessert, we walked hand in hand to the Theater and watched a pretty decent flick (3:10 to Yuma). It was… perfect. EXACTLY what both of us needed and wanted.
If you’re doing the math right now and realized that I am 25 celebrating a 6 year wedding Anniversary, then you’ve probably realized that I was indeed a fetus when we married. An Embryonic sac, really. When people ask how long we dated, Mike says “Well, we went to lunch, so… about 45 minutes I guess?” and that’s about right, joking aside. It’s not our faults, entirely, that we rushed into marriage. One of the only negative things you’ll ever hear me say on this blog about the Mormon church or it’s culture, and most of our Mormon friends will agree, is that the topic of and expectancy of young men and women marrying is prematurely discussed and altogether too commonplace in the Mormon church. It worked out in our case but I have seen, first hand, the confusion and devastation that follows a quick divorce, in particular a young divorce. And it’s not their faults. It’s, in my opinion, a mixture of outdated traditions and customs and a strong-willed, overly confident and optimistic young couple. It seems and feels like people just trying to do what’s right. That’s why we did it, for those same reasons, but we don’t consider ourselves any MORE in tune with God or any MORE dedicated to each other than those people with failed marriages under their belts. And that’s all I got to say about that (GET OFF YOUR TANGENT).
Edited to add: I should probably step in here and make it clear that my parents did NOT encourage me to get married, they were not THOSE parents. My dad made me sign numerous contracts growing up stating that I would not date until I was 35 and my Mom tried everything short of murdering Mike to stop the wedding. But alas, I was 18 and in love. And both of their stubborn traits were genetically mutated to triple force when handed down to me. They now like Mike, I should also point out.
Let’s take a stroll down memory lane.
Our wedding day.
I wish that was my Grandma’s wedding dress or that the fabric held some sort of emotional meaning for me but truly, it was the cheapest one and had sleeves, so I got it. It’s a very traditional Mormon wedding dress. Looking back, I could have made it MUCH more stylish. My Cousin, also married in the Mormon Temple, wore the most adorable 50’s modern wedding dress and completely blew me away with the pizzaz and flare that most Mormon wedding gowns lack, in my opinion (honesty is the best policy folks, just being truthful here). Or I could have done a Spanish themed dress with the long sleeves and beautiful Spanish veil, that would have worked as well. Thinking of it now, we probably COULD have done a Spanish themed wedding since everyone assumes Mike is Spanish anyway. Speaking of Mike, here’s the dashing Groom himself:
Mike hates this picture. We both hate ALL our wedding pictures. I had to go digging through piles of old boxes to find these, that’s how UN-DISPLAYED they are in our home. We never look at them because they make us both so agitated and annoyed that we start fighting. “WHY didn’t you tell me that my hair was at it’s ugly length!? I have helmet fuzz in every picture! This is YOUR fault” He says. “Why didn’t YOU tell ME that the lame phase I was in where I REFUSED to wear makeup or do my hair was a PASSING PHASE and could be over-ridden for special occasions, special occasions like MY WEDDING DAY!? Huh?!” I say.
I look like I’m playing dress up. It really does. Because 1. I look so young and 2. It LITERALLY looks like I was watching tv, flipping through Oprah and decided to GET UP and THROW ON a WEDDING DRESS, except that NO. This isn’t dress rehearsal, this isn’t pre-show before hair and makeup, this is the REAL DEAL, the BIG DAY. I have nothing more to say. I mean, I’m adorable, but seriously… CAN I GET SOME FRICKIN MASCARA HERE? A curling Iron perhaps?
See how my body language in this picture is all “What are you doing? What’s happening right now? Uh! Wait. You’re getting awfully close to my mouth.”?? Well, our Virgin wedding night was JUST as suave. JUST. AS. Polite. It was ….. pretty hot. I would go on, but I don’t want to make anyone jealous.
Moving on to the Reception. Held in our church basketball gym.
One of the few things I remember from the Reception, it was all a big blur, was that my Grandpa came from out of State to be there. His wife (my Dad’s sort-of kind-of Step Mom but not really) wouldn’t come because she couldn’t go to through the Temple for the actual ceremony. You have to have a Temple Recommend to go through a Mormon Temple and she didn’t have one because she wasn’t Mormon (no brainer, I suppose) but nevertheless, she boycotted the wedding. Which, in a way worked out for the best since her presence would have made my Grandma uncomfortable and I love my Grandma more than anything in the world. So, Grandpa’s wife wouldn’t come but Grandpa did and although he ALSO couldn’t go through the Temple, he was a perfect gentleman about it and instead mingled with other family and friends. He mostly stayed along the sidelines and mingled with guests for the entire wedding. I saw him while I was dancing with Mike and I had no idea at the time that seeing him standing there along the sidelines right then would be the last time I would ever see him alive. Technically, I saw him one last time before his death but it hardly counted. It would be six months after the wedding, he would be lying on a hospital bed with all his kids surrounding him but he wouldn’t be fully there anymore. He would be in the process of leaving. So the wedding day was the last time. He came ALL the way down to MY wedding and I didn’t dance with him. I didn’t even THINK to dance with him and I REALLY should have danced with him. I always remember that when I see the pictures of the reception dance, how I had the perfect opportunity to share a dance with my Grandpa before he died and I didn’t take it. I blew it and it makes me cry.
This dance picture is sweet, though, isn’t it? I’m looking into Mike’s eyes thinking “who ARE you?”
Here’s an interesting one for you:
What’s happening in this picture, I don’t know. It LOOKS like I was having a meltdown and collapsed into the fetal position on the floor of the basketball gymnasium during the reception and this shot is of Mike reassuring me that everything was fine while also reassuring the cameraman and everyone else that I was actually quite well indeed, just a humorous little moment we are having on the floor right here, heh heh heh. I wish the story was that interesting, so I let people believe that. But in actuality, I was probably checking on my swollen ankle. I TRULY DID have a swollen ankle that night. I tried to use it as a decoy later that night in our hotel room for awhile as I was contemplating postponing forever our wedding night inauguration.
But the inauguration happened and so began the next 6 years of me trying to use clever excuses to get out of woopee. But in the end, I usually thanked him for sticking with his game plan. And the same goes for this. Thanks, Babe, for sticking with your game plan. The last 6 years have been fantastic.
(The ONLY wedding picture we allow to be displayed in our home)
Posted by Jamie @ 2:15 am • Mike, my crazy family
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October 16th, 2007 at 7:28 am, Emma Says:
Congrats on your anniversary!
from another fetal bride
(i’m 29 and will shortly celebrate eleven glorious years of marriage).
PS. your wedding dress isnt that bad. It’s simple and classic. Be thankful you didnt have a big glittery meringue or something else distasteful you’d regret.
PPS. the leaning back kiss does look very awkward. HA!
October 16th, 2007 at 10:01 am, Tam Says:
I love this post. I actually laughed out loud reading your description on the “kiss”. You crack me up!
October 16th, 2007 at 10:44 am, becca Says:
And from yet another young bride… we will celebrate our 9th anniversary in Dec., right after I turn 28 in November (DH was 26 when we got married). But we did date for 3.5 years, which is way too long when you are trying to wait for that awesome, smooth, romantic wedding night. Can anyone else say, “Was that it?” Thank goodness it gets better!
Congratulations. I look equally young in our pictures. It’s funny and a little disconcerting. At least I don’t have a daughter to convince that marrying at 19 isn’t right for everyone. Good luck on that one… maybe you won’t be faced with that.
October 16th, 2007 at 11:08 am, June Cutoff Cash Says:
I actually really like that dress. Is this because I am old?
I am sure your grandpa knew you were caught up in your big day, and that you were 15 or whatever. I’ll bet he was so happy to be there, he didn’t care if you noticed him.
That last picture is wonderful. Really pretty! And believe it or not, some day you’ll look back at those pictures and think, “I was so pretty!” This will be because you will be 78 and hideous. But still.
October 16th, 2007 at 12:11 pm, Ms. Battle Stattion Says:
I should probably step in here and make it clear that my parents did NOT encourage me to get married, they were not THOSE parents. My dad made me sign numerous contracts stating that I would not date until I was 35 and my Mom tried everything short of murdering Mike to stop the wedding.
So, I need to clear their names on that particular topic.
October 16th, 2007 at 2:15 pm, Julie Says:
Awesome pics! Love that awkward kissing photo! Hilarious.
Happy Anniversary you guys!!!!
October 16th, 2007 at 2:33 pm, Melissa Says:
Congratulations!
I love the dress too! Very classic.
Maybe tonight I’ll pay tribute to ya’ll ghetto style and tip a 40 to my homies! My husband said that to me on our anniversary.
October 16th, 2007 at 2:46 pm, JMC Says:
Why is it that everything takes place in that basketball gym? I was brought up in the Mormon church up until about age 12, and everything took place in our gym, too. Why is basketball so important in the Mormon church? The gym is in the very center of the church building. The local Mormon church where I live now (and every one I’ve ever seen for that matter) looks EXACTLY like the one I grew up in. On the outside anyway. I’m always curious to go in and see if it’s exactly the same on the inside too.
October 16th, 2007 at 5:26 pm, chou2 Says:
OK, you two may have been infants getting married, but you were awfully damn cute infants. Love the photojournalism with your commentary!!
October 16th, 2007 at 7:47 pm, Gray Matter Matters Says:
Whew! I’m winded from that “stroll.” Look at you mixing the hilarious with the touching. The laughter with the tears. Oh, and you are officially banned from ever making self-depricating comments about your looks. If I weren’t so freakin’ fabulous I’d claw your eyes out.
Happy Anniversary you gorgeous, funny, perfectly-suited pair you.
October 16th, 2007 at 10:05 pm, Julie Says:
Just want to add that I’d have to say your earwig infestation was probably your best excuse for getting out of whoopee, don’t you think?
October 16th, 2007 at 10:24 pm, emily Says:
I don’t even know where to start! You guys were just the cutest wee babes on your wedding day. You are pretty cute 6 years later! Thank you for the stroll down memory lane.
You made Moody’s day by commenting on his post:) Thank you.
October 17th, 2007 at 12:03 am, my minivan is faster than yours Says:
I love hearing happy stories. I grew-up in Detroit and didn’t know from the word “Mormon” until I moved to Phoenix at age 18. You know, the age you got married and I began a four year drinking binge. But alas, a mere 13 years later I would meet my beloved.
I’m going to go back to pretending you’re 13 years younger than I am now. Goodnight (it’s 9:00, I’m 38, so I’m going to sleep now).
October 17th, 2007 at 10:35 am, Rachel Says:
De-lurking to say that you are GEORGEOUS, your hubby is very handsome, and your wedding photos are totally sweet. [:-)
BTW - My wedding dress looked very similar to yours (11 years ago), and it was my dream dress and I’m not Mormon. I hope some day my daughter will wear it.
October 17th, 2007 at 11:32 pm, jennifer England Says:
LOVE the pictures!
You know I am a “card-carrying” Mormon, but I am SO with you on the cultural pressure to be married as a fetus. I graduated from BYU just months from turning 22 and thought that I was a complete failure because I managed to get through four years of college surrounded by all of these horny mormon boys and still wasn’t married.
And can we just talk about the wedding night?! OK- yesterday, I wasn’t allowed to touch you and tonight I wam supposed to do THAT?!
Happy Anniversary!
October 18th, 2007 at 10:56 am, Jess Says:
I actually like the dress, and also the photos. Especially the last one. I understand why that’s the one that you display.
October 18th, 2007 at 11:51 am, misty Says:
those are romantic things. We have done the extravagant anniversaries and the broke ones. Our best anniversary was when we were foster parents and we paid our neighbor $15 to let us run to Wendy’s for 20 min. and rent a movie. (we had just gotten the three kids and waited until they were asleep before departing but didn’t want them to wake up scared.) We had cancelled a weekend getaway reluctantly and yet, it was really great…
October 18th, 2007 at 7:49 pm, Lila Says:
I normally lurk on your very funny blog but had to comment on this one because I can so relate. Like Jennifer, I am a “card carrying” Mormon and even went to Ricks (I’m older than you so we weren’t there at the same time). Anyway, I was a rebel and did not marry until I was 26 (gasp). Totally an old maid in the Mormon culture…I’m sure many prayers were said on my behalf.
Happy Anniversary to a very cute couple.
October 19th, 2007 at 9:00 am, Chandra Says:
Jamie,
Love the pictures!!! You two are the cutest little fetuses ever
Happy Anniversary
October 19th, 2007 at 1:25 pm, justenjoyhim/judy Says:
Happy (late) anniversary, you crazy kids!
Last picture:
“Thank God he brushed his teeth! I’d hate to be this close if his teeth were all fuzzy and gross.”
“Wow, her breath smells pretty good. I wonder if she gargles.”
October 19th, 2007 at 11:57 pm, starfish Says:
Mormon, huh? Would have never guessed that one. You look like the quintessential bride - Happy Anniversary!
October 22nd, 2007 at 9:08 pm, paige Says:
You look so lovely–you are not afflicted with the pale eyelashes and eyebrows of many a blonde, and, have you noticed how beautiful your hands are? Really, you have stunning digits–think how much you’ll enjoy strolling down memory lane in 30 years or so when your liver spots have taken hold–you’ll be able to look back at those unblemished apendages and you’ll be HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!
paige, the non-Mormon who wore a long-sleeved cotton damask wedding gown for her Florida summer wedding…
October 24th, 2007 at 5:07 pm, sari Says:
Happy anniversary!
I’m glad that your grandpa could at least be there with you and share your day, even if you didn’t get to dance with him. How could you know? Nobody could.
My husband and I eloped, and it was the best thing we ever did. There are so many different family members, it just would’ve been crazy!