October 2, 2007
You know your significant other is tired and stressed out when you find a post-it note to himself saying:
Now: 220 class, presentation
After Now: Quiz, 120 questions
I found this very thing on our computer desk as we were getting ready for bed last night. I started giggling and he walked in the room and I said “Honey, do you want to go to bed now? or after now?”
Blank, tired stare
“Which one Honey? Now or after now?”
Blank, tired stare again “I give up” he says. I then provide the source of my ridicule upon which he laughs and says “Wow, my brain is getting badder isn’t it?”
Quiet.
“Let’s just go to bed Babe.”
Some of you may remember this incident from Finals season a couple months ago. Well, the madness reaches a whole new level at the BEGINNING of each semester as my otherwise calm and mellow husband resorts to color-coded graph and pie-chart methods of organization.
He’s in the midst of the hardest semester in a Nursing program and add on top of that a REALLY needy wife, a REALLY hyper 3 year old, financial stress and an upcoming adoption of two kids. SO….. I guess I don’t blame him. The thing is, my otherwise confident and assured husband nearly breaks out in hives at the mention of finishing a degree. He has had some serious delays in obtaining one (see: year and a half in Iraq and 2 year Mormon mission to England) and often doubts his ability to REALLY get there, to REALLY wrap his hands around a diploma. And add on top of that the fact that he hates his sordid past of skipping out on a high school diploma and instead camping out in the mountains reading Jack Kerouac, John Steinbeck and Kurt Vonnegut (which I always thought was super cute). So, needless to say, there are issues to deal with and monsters to face in this household when it comes to school.
I, on the other hand, have no second thoughts about him graduating, no dignifying of the doubt. I drive him insane with my nonchalant responses to his melt downs, usually something like “Babe, you’ll do fine. It’ll be fine. Your the smartest guy in the world”. And he is.
The thing is that he is passing all his classes with flying colors and impressing all his instructors so I’m all “What’s the big deal?” But nevertheless, we have this semester and one more before the weight will be lifted, the stress kicked out on it’s arse and the world will be in it’s homeostasis.
He can do it. I can live with him while he does it. We’re almost there. *sigh*
Posted by Jamie @ 9:20 pm • Mike
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October 2nd, 2007 at 10:00 pm, erinthebeekeeper Says:
Ahhh much of the period of my life between sixteen and marriage (nineteen) was spent with Uncle Jack, Uncle John, Uncle Kirk, and Uncle Alan (ginsburg)
I read ‘On the Road’ at fifteen and took my car (illegally of course) and drove south for a few days. I blame Uncle Jack for my insane love for road trips, apple pie, and my deep love for America.
Perhaps “After Now” is what Uncle Alan was speaking of.
“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,” ~Howl, Alan Ginsburg
October 3rd, 2007 at 1:04 am, Stacy Says:
ahhhh thanks for being here. I was fresh out of funny bloggers and now I have a new funny blogger who is also connected with the Ethiopian adoption community!!! Thanks for being funny you’re keeping me up way past my bedtime.
October 3rd, 2007 at 7:45 am, Melissa Says:
I had to look up homeostasis.
Love your blog! My husband’s in seminary and I so feel your pain. Ya’ll can do it!!!
October 3rd, 2007 at 9:51 am, emily Says:
Go Mike, you can do it! Regardless of one’s opinions or beliefs on war– I’m so thankful for men like Mike that go, and women like you that hold down the fort while they are away!!
October 3rd, 2007 at 12:36 pm, Jennifer England Says:
Oh, Jamie! I so remember being where you and Mike are… school sucks sometimes. Nate was working full time and going to school at night when our (at the time) oldest was born. I was teaching full time and was the High School cheer coach. Although it is not as crazy as Iraq, or a mission for that matter, being that busy can be crazy.
Let me tell you- I think that the combo of school, work, and family is meant to drive people to the brink of insanity so that their spouses can see what “crazy” looks like. Keep an eye open for foam at the mouth and bulging eyes. Otherwise, good luck to you and thanks for blogging.
October 3rd, 2007 at 12:47 pm, starfish Says:
Yikes. I can’t imagine having to be a student again. I feel for him.
October 3rd, 2007 at 1:25 pm, Karen Says:
I feel his pain. I’m what’s reported to be the worst semester in our nursing program, and I can’t seem to get caught up. But my calendar says it’s October already, which means that Christmas (and break!) is coming up…
October 3rd, 2007 at 1:52 pm, abebech Says:
I sympathize with both of you, having been married to dh through med school and now with my own school. I was both crazed and now crazy.
Last night dh asked me what form I preferred my caffeine in, Coke or Mt Dew and I told him I was too burnt out to answer: “Surprise me,” I said. Sounds like bedtime there . . .
Good luck!
October 3rd, 2007 at 9:44 pm, Erin O' Says:
Hey there! First, I think Mike can do it, too. Though I’ve never met him, nor graded any of his tests or papers. But your recommendation is enough for me.
Second, I’ve tagged you for a grueling two-part meme! Interested? Come visit my blog. I’m sure you’ll be more witty than I.
October 3rd, 2007 at 11:41 pm, dawn Says:
I totally feel Mike’s pain. I have been in school for what feels like forever…I know part of that is because I am a teacher and really am at school forever. It does get better and way to go on being so supportive. That really helps. It is hard to understand our strong need for perfection as students but just being there and making him laugh will help. It helps me.
October 4th, 2007 at 1:51 pm, Katy Says:
Jamie,
You and I are waiting it out with WHFC together. Thanks for making it easier by thoroughly entertaining me, regularly. My husband just got his B.A. degree after an 11 year stint as a performing musician (to me he is a rock star). Once, mid-fight, while being berated for forgetting something that I thought profoundly important, he said, “I don’t know, maybe I have like a wierd brain problem or something.” A wierd brain problem?
October 4th, 2007 at 9:56 pm, Lacey Says:
Jamie-
Wow, I know what you are going through. Jason graduated just 1 year ago and I do not miss that last semester roller coaster of emotions. Just wait if Mike decides to go further in school!! Now Jason is working towards a APN degree with a really tired working full time wife, 1 hyper stubborn little mini me of a son, 1 hyper princess little girl, work as a CCU/ ICU nurse, an ebay business, financial stress, football season for our son and just life all together!! TRUST me I feel your pain!!
Lacey
October 6th, 2007 at 3:23 pm, Erica B Says:
Okay…so as a witness to the school time craziness the second school starts….I always think it’s a little maddening that he is semi-bitter about his past. The way I see it(which is usually right and MOST important :)) is that he would ABSOLUTELY not be the Mikey we all love if he didn’t come from and experience what he has. He would be so blah………but alas, he has the insight and wisdom of an old man from his many different and interesting life experience. Plus….such a whiney baby for a 4.0 student!!
I don’t think ANY of us doubt that he will finish and be fabulous!
October 6th, 2007 at 10:16 pm, Misty Says:
I am new to your blog, and seriously- reading all that your husband has made it through and all that rests on your plate and I wanted you to know that I felt like I needed to write myself a short list of now and after now activities