September 18, 2007
Oh yes, plastering pictures of myself and my family all over the internet. OF COURSE! I know ya’ll have been waiting and waiting with baited breath to see pictures from our Oregon Coast Holiday (I love saying Holiday, it makes me feel British) so without further delay, I present:
Overt and Shameless display of Narcissism in the form of “Family Holiday Photos” (Who loves the camera?!)
In chronological order, first up, the car ride.
Started out great. Lots of snacks, music, cartoons, stories, clarifying of discrepancies from this post (APPARENTLY, there was never tomato sauce, the giant holes were perc holes to test for a septic system, the trees were not Ponderosas, they were Evergreens and my Dad was NOT there for all three near-drowning instances which is completely ironic since he had SWIMMING SCHOLARSHIPS in college. But I still say they’re all just jealous of my super powers), yada yada yada, drive drive drive. We EVEN sang songs together, it was very Disney commercial.
Then casually, slowly…
The mood inevitably went south
and by the end…
And what’s embarrassing is that Audrey (my sister) was in WORSE condition than I was in at the precise moment of this picture. Except, when Audrey gets to this point, this level of stirring claustrophobia and frazzleness, everyone avoids making eye contact, speaking to or around her or making any sudden movements in her presence. I’ll get all up in psychoville but Audrey gets all kinds of NASTEH. Flippage of the Outtage, for real. (one other nice thing about turning comments off for the time being is that Audrey can’t get on and yell at me in the comments anymore. HA HA. Take that, you Shrew! I’m not stuck in the car with you NOW, aren’t I?! HA!)
Next up, of course, as soon as we got there, was the beach
I was excited to be there. I was excited to not be in the car, really.
We were all a bit giddy and excited to be there. Elation was back. Euphoria set in. We loved each other again.
My brother Burke and the cute backside of my husband Mike.
Fralalala. Making memories. So lovely.
Burke being “Emo”. The whole trip, if Burke was ever being quiet, walking by himself or trying to distance himself from us in public in any way, we usually asked him if he was having an “Emo” moment, the question was typically accompanied by an exaggerated sad and serious face. This sarcastic tactic works really well, for those of you who have teenagers. The teen will be shocked that you are using such a modern and recent slang term (short for Emotional, by the way, typically used to describe the all black, skinny jean and bandanna wearing posse these-a-days) they’ll try to fight back a smile while at the same time shaking their head and saying something to the effect of “Why am I in this family”. This picture was posed and we were all laughing while it was taken, but it should be the poster worldwide for “Emo Kids” what with the beautiful and fun surroundings and then them, skulking within their confines of treacherous emotions. Ha ha. Teenagers. What a joke. Emo. Use it in a sentence today, it’ll be fun!
We toured the sites and visited Cape Meares Lighthouse which was breathtakingly beautiful. Just like us. Other tourists there were confused, they were like “Which is the site here? This Lighthouse or this breathtakingly beautiful family? I’m not sure.” It happens all the time.
Can you see my wee wee little child in this picture? Running through the trees, so small? Like a little cockroach, so small.
The next day was a bit more chilly and we went to tour another lookout spot.
This is the picture we show everyone.
But this:
This is more like it. And this:
This is completely genuine. See how my kid is mid-strike? She is absolutely about to whack her cousin in the head, totally un-provoked. Mialee is going to use this picture as evidence for YEARS, I’m sure. “See? See how Delaney always starts it?!”
Here’s a nice educational moment. Educational, my arse! Ha!
No, really, here’s the real educational moment. Leave it to Mike to make sure the girls LEARN something while on vacation. Here, he’s teaching the girls how to tell how old the tree was before some redneck yuppy conservatives chopped it all up. Kidding! We ONLY use the term Bush-lover with the girls, we don’t want to burden them with REALLY ugly words at such a young age. (Man, I’m on a ROLL!)
Next, we decided to go check out the much-hyped and highly-anticipated SEASIDE BEACH. OOOOoooohhhh Seaside Beach. Must be nice since it’s so expensive and crowded and hyped up, right?! Surely, it’s WAY better than our humble little beach down in Rockaway, the SLUMS of the Oregon Coast. We are going to SO regret not staying in Seaside once we see it —- blah blah. Ya, well THIS is what we thought of Seaside Beach:
“WHAT? WHAT WAS THAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU BECAUSE IT’S SO WINDY! I CAN’T SEE YOU EITHER BECAUSE IF I OPEN MY EYES, SAND WILL FLY UNDER MY CONTACTS AND CAUSE MASS AMOUNTS OF DISCOMFORT AND PAIN!”
“CAN I MAKE A SUGGESTION? LET’S GO.”
Seaside sucked. Sorry all you Seaside stand-byers, all you uppity Seaside Loyalists, you SUCK! You’re beach sucks. And you pay more to stay there. Maybe you should venture South a bit, into the slums where you can talk to each other without eating a tablespoon of sand.
That’s right, there are MERMAIDS down in the slums of OUR BEACH.
Burke is CONVINCED that he is God after seeing this picture since there is some obscure light reflection in the middle of the photo next to him. He talked about it for hours, obsessing over the “presence” in the picture and reconsidering a lot of unexplained phenomenons in his short life thus far. Like how he KNEW he’d hate that job at the golf course over the summer.
The girls at sunset. I love this shot.
The girls unknowingly about to embark on a 7 hour journey back home.
All in all, it was a VERY successful Holiday to the Coast. We can’t wait to go back. If anyone is planning a trip and wants advice on where to stay, email me.
Oh and I am leaving comments on for now. Mostly because you guys asked me to. I’ve decided to turn comments off on the posts that I feel are crap. Or not. I’m moody like that. Thanks for loving me anyway.
Love,
Jamie
Posted by Jamie @ 1:12 pm • my crazy family
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September 18th, 2007 at 2:42 pm, dcrmom Says:
Girl, how can you turn comments OFF??? Comments are the crack that makes blogging worthwhile. So those are some seriously cute pictures and some seriously funny commentary. WHAT do you have to worry about anyways? Okay, I’m off to ponder why my comments are turned ON but everyone is so NOT chatty this week. HMPH.
September 18th, 2007 at 2:51 pm, Chandra Says:
Glad to see you are back and I loved the details of your trip. Can I please have your hair?? You are so darn cute. Don’t worry about the rest of us think of you. I went through a time of worrying about comments and then decided hell with it. If you write, we will come Jamie! Great pics and thanks for the tip on EMO.
September 18th, 2007 at 3:26 pm, boomama Says:
Redneck yuppy conservative?
Speaking!
And the pictures are so fun. I was especially pleased to see in the first picture that you acquired some thought-provoking reading for the trip. Well done. There is nothing like some large color photographs of celebrities stocking their shopping carts to make the time in the car go a little faster.
Next I think you should write about Britney’s performance at the VMA’s. Yeah you should.
September 18th, 2007 at 6:45 pm, walternatives Says:
Comments on - comments off. Your blog, sister. Lovely photos. Thank you for sharing them.
September 18th, 2007 at 7:21 pm, mama2roo Says:
you so funny, girl…
September 18th, 2007 at 9:15 pm, Audrey (aka your favorite) Says:
Geez who took all those AMAZING photos??! She should quit everything she is doing and become a professional photographer.
September 19th, 2007 at 1:14 am, owlhaven Says:
Love that last pix!!!!
Mary
September 19th, 2007 at 10:21 am, Sarah Says:
That picture of Burke’s “aura” looks more like the bubble that Glenda the Good Witch from Wizard of Oz pops out of… maybe he was clicking his heels saying “there is no place like our beach closer to home”!!!
I am a new visitor to your site and looking forward to following your adoption adventure!
September 19th, 2007 at 10:22 am, Sarah Says:
That picture of Burke’s aura looks more like the bubble that Glenda the Good Witch from Wizard of Oz pops out of… maybe he was clicking his heels saying there is no place like our beach closer to home!!!
I am a new visitor to your site and looking forward to following your adoption adventure!
Sarah and Sophie~Bug
September 19th, 2007 at 10:59 am, June Cutoff Cash Says:
You are my favorite person. On earth.
The cousin smacking, the mood going south photo, your arse, Burke being God, each one made my coffee go back up my sinuses in an unpleasant way.
And is one of those hotties supposed to be your mom? Was she SIX when she had you?
September 20th, 2007 at 1:01 pm, starfish Says:
Good thing you are hilarious, because you are so damn skinny and blonde and gorgeous I would hate your guts otherwise. In a nice way. You know what I mean.
Trip looks like a blast! I can’t fathom a 7 hour car ride like that!
October 3rd, 2007 at 6:43 am, Judy Says:
GET OUT! SHUT UP!!!! We stayed in Seaside about 4 years ago! We had that same sand fly into our faces, Dude!
We flew all across the country for that thrill! For our niece’s supposed outdoor wedding which was RAINED OUT! The Farmer’s Almanac had listed no rains on her wedding day . . . well, isn’t is ironic, doncha think, a little to ironic, OHYA, I REALLY DO THINK!!
Ok, I’ll stop.
At any rate, they had a MONSOON on their wedding day. HAR-UMPH!!
But your post is hilarious!
LURVE it!