April 20, 2007
I always drive. I drive probably 99% of the time. I drive so often that our friends and family sometimes don’t realize that Mike CAN even drive. We’ll be arranging a caravan to go somewhere and somebody will say “Well, who is Mike riding with then? Mike doesn’t drive! What about Mike?”
I would say that in the tally of our marital bickering causes, right after video games, comes the source of automotive tension. I drive because it is easier.
My husband is good at many things. If there was a list of things my husband is good at, the list would be about 5 miles long but on that list would not be the phrase “Good at getting places.”
People, we live in Boise Idaho. Have I mentioned that before? There are 3 major thoroughfares and one freeway here. Mike has been a Boisean for over 5 years now and still takes the most BASSACKWARDS and painstakingly longest routes possible to get to all of our most crucial and frequented destinations such as Hollywood Video, Panda Express and World Market Home Decor.
But to make matter worse, not only is Mike directionally challenged, he is embittered at being directionally challenged. He is a calloused driver, wounded and angry. He writhes in his palpable irritation as he is driving and he senses that he is about to Eff up. It builds and builds and builds until it gets to the point where he has to either A. ask me for directions or B. yell at himself for not asking me directions. The latter usually happens as he is flipping a U-turn and cursing. It’s good times for everyone in the vehicle. This is why I drive.
So, anyway, Mike DESPISES being told to do something if he is already doing it or knows how to do it already. This makes for enjoyable past times such as commanding him to shut the garage door as his finger is already pressed against the clicker or delegating him to wash the dishes as he is walking over to the sink to wash the dishes. This also holds true for directions. He is fine with receiving directions so long as you DON’T give him a directional command that he already knew!! How do you know if he already knew you ask? Therein lies the problem my friends.
Conversations like these are more familiar than I would care for them to be:
Me: “You’re going to take a right at the next light”
Mike: “Okay”
Me: “Okay, now you are going to take a left at this stop sign and then get in the left lane”
Mike: “Okay”
Me: “Okay, now you are going to take a left on that stree….”
Mike: “I KNOW babe! I’ve got it! I have had it all the way since we were on Fairview, okay?!”
Me: ………………….”We were never on Fairview”
God bless marriage.
Posted by Jamie @ 12:21 pm • Mike
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April 20th, 2007 at 3:33 pm, Jennifer Says:
I am really having a hard time not peeing my pants. I just found your blog yesterday and am already hooked… please move to Salt Lake City so we can be friends! (just kidding, I am not a scary stalker person, I promise) We are adopting from Ethiopia also and could not be more happy. Good luck in choosing an agency that doesn’t piss you off… we love ours!
April 20th, 2007 at 5:28 pm, Erin Says:
LOL
My husband always decides to take “shortcuts” when we are running late for something. Of course these aren’t short cuts that he actually KNOWS, he is just guessing this random back road will get us someplace faster. He is usually wrong.
April 21st, 2007 at 11:01 am, Wicked Witch Says:
I am in a marriage where I do all the driving. We have issues when my husband comes up with his own plan.