February 28, 2008
I WISH that title had something to do with our adoption. But lo, it does not. On that front we are looking at a few more days before we get our new Immigration approval back since we moved to our new house. Once we get that, we are back on the gravy train. The LONG long really really long gravy train which is the waiting list. And on THAT end, we probably have another 3 months (or, you know, TWELVE, it’s hard to really say) before we get our referral.
Why, you ask, is this taking so long? Well, my internets, the easy answer is: I don’t know and the long answer delves into popularity within the Ethiopia program now since China is not so hot and Guatemala is not so hot and Haiti is not so hot and Vietnam is not so hot. Intermix the popularity with the fact that we are using one of the most popular agencies within the Ethiopia program and the fact that our request for 2 kiddos under 3 (biologically related) is a somewhat narrow request. And that’s the long answer in a nutshell. But in answer to the more FRUSTRATING question which is WHY were you told you’d get a referral within 6 months when in actuality it looks like it will be more like FIFTEEN? And to that I would say, TRUST ME, WE WONDER THIS ALL THE TIME.
Wow. I had some frustration pent up, no? Sorry about that.
Whew.
In regard to the title of this post, I’m talking about the most dreadful moment in a Parent’s life. A moment in which you cry, scream, curse the GODS! Unparalleled agony, surreal shock. All of this, I went through yesterday. A day forever embalmed into our memories. The day that Delaney’s cousin cut off all her hair. CUT. OFF. ALL. HER. HAIR.
Please digest.
I know.
Picture two four year old girls, a pair of craft scissors, a Barbie vanity pushed up against the door and 25 minutes of unsupervised play.
And then picture the tufts of beautiful sun-bathed, silky hair all over the floor, the scattered remains, the MURDERED, butchered strands of love that lay upon the floor.
THESE strands of love. Taken from us far too soon. Much too soon.
And then there was Delaney’s face. Her big, saucer eyes peering out from behind what I can only describe as an insane asylum freakness of hair. So thrilled to show me her new do. So happy about what they had done. That is, until I LOST MY MIND WITH GRIEF and was GASPING in shock, called my sister upstairs and she proceeded to cover her mouth in sheer terror. And it was then that Delaney, confusedly started to flip out as well, realizing that something very very bad had happened.
When Delaney gets confused and frustrated she starts blurting out sentences that don’t make any sense whatsoever but she says them in a way that insinuates anger and frustration in her tone. So, at that moment Delaney started yelling “THAT’S NOT EVEN BETTER! AND THIS IS NOT ANY SENSE! YOU’RE WRONG! THIS IS NOT ANY BETTER MOM! THIS..! THIS IS NOT..!”
And then I held her while she sobbed.
I picked up her sweet face with strands of loose hair hanging off it and told her she was not in trouble, everything was fine and now she would have really cute short hair. I took a deep breath, threw her in the car and ran her over to my hair stylist for an emergency fix while my sister went searching for the culprit who had mysteriously gone missing once the evidence surfaced. Once “the REAL and ONLY haircut girl” finished the new pixie cut topped off with super short bangs, Delaney looked in the mirror and said “I LOVE my new hair!”
And it IS really cute. And really short. Boy short, to be exact.
I called Mike shortly before he came home from work to warn him and to make sure his reaction was that of “OH MY GOODNESS THAT HAIRCUT IS THE MOST AWESOME COOLEST HAIRCUT EVER!” as opposed to his more natural reaction of “WHAT IN THE? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?!” He was a really good Daddy and made a really good deal out of it. And when she walked away, he turned to me and said “She’s turning into the Lesbian we always hoped she’d be.” Which is what Mike says when he is trying to cope with her growing up into a teenager and therefore being within a 100 mile vicinity of another male teenager. “Lesbian at least until College is finished” her Dad always said. Ah, the fond memories being created in this home.
Pictures coming soon, of both cuts. As soon as our new computer is done being built. (still loathing HP, by the way). Until then I leave you with your imagination and your nightmares.
Posted by Jamie @ 1:33 pm • Delaney, adoption schmaloption
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February 28th, 2008 at 1:51 pm, Mayhem Says:
Yikes! Can’t wait to see the pictures. She’s such a beautiful girl– how bad could short hair possibly look? I’m sure she’s lovely!
I guess that’s one nice thing about having boys with super short hair.
February 28th, 2008 at 2:13 pm, becca Says:
I’m a little nauseous. I’m sure she’s beautiful with her chic little pixie cut, but WOW. It was not time. Kudos for handing it so well.
February 28th, 2008 at 2:15 pm, JMC Says:
Sounds like it was handled well. I love Mike’s lesbian comment. My husband wants all our girls to grow up to be lesbians as well.
February 28th, 2008 at 2:46 pm, Jess Says:
I love you guys, love you for your parenting style. And for many other reasons. But specifically that one. Delaney is a lucky girl and so are those two as-yet-unknown biologically related kiddos under three.
Also, my mother always wanted me to be a lesbian too. For real, though.
February 28th, 2008 at 2:49 pm, melissa Says:
I sent you an email to hopefully give you comfort. Or, at least company. She’s going to be beautiful no matter what and after the episode in the pictures, Sadie did the same thing. I walked in on her hacking away at her precious red hair over the bathroom trash can. It’s like a right of passage for parents.
February 28th, 2008 at 3:01 pm, haze Says:
Ack!!! What a nightmare! At least hair grows back.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:26 pm, 3carnations Says:
Oh my gosh. I’m putting away all the scissors for the next 15 years. Although my son would probably prefer to cut MY hair off than his…
February 28th, 2008 at 4:31 pm, emily Says:
Can’t wait to see the pics- I know she looks beautiful. My girls did the same thing at about her age. It sounds like you handled it like a champ!
February 28th, 2008 at 5:31 pm, melissa Says:
With those enormous eyes, i bet she’s all Audrey Hepburn-looking now. Sorry about the adoption endless wait…you write wonderfully.
February 28th, 2008 at 5:43 pm, dcrmom Says:
Oh no she DI-IN’T. OMG. My daughter did this when she was two. She cut the top and made a reverse mowhawk. Oh it was one of the most horrible days of my life. fI never did cut it off. Since she left all the length, we just dealt with the ridiculous top of her hair being a half-inch long! And the horrid growing-in process. OMG. You have my deepest sympathies.
February 28th, 2008 at 5:56 pm, Nicole Says:
The year was 1980. Or so I have been told. I seem to have blocked that from my memory. But one very grainy photo lingers to bear witness to something my mom still refers to as ‘The Incident’. I had somehow gotten the idea that my hair would look so much more awesome with one side long, and the other side, not so long.
Ok. I cut the hair to my scalp. One side was a flowing mane of brown curls, the other side shorn as close to my head as possible.
I dunno what I was thinking, I was 5. I had a Trump style comb over FOR A LONG TIME.
And just so I don’t make this whole comment about me and my wicked ways as a child (I did grow up to be somewhat normal) I think you handled the whole thing wonderfully.
February 28th, 2008 at 7:09 pm, Lori Says:
Oh dear goodness - too funny!
February 28th, 2008 at 7:19 pm, habesha child Says:
Oh sweet Lord. So sorry to hear it. I did it to myself in First Grade - right before our annual school photos. Took a large chunk out of my bangs. Charming.
February 28th, 2008 at 7:43 pm, Julie Says:
So many of my friends have had their daughters do this!
I’d seriously have a coronary if my daughter did it. Can’t wait to see pictures.
February 28th, 2008 at 8:13 pm, sari Says:
OH my gosh. Oh. My. Gosh. I would have screamed and cried too, not on purpose, but I would have. I know it’s not funny, but, you know…it is funny. Or it will be in maybe five years, right?
I bet she looks cute now that the “real and only haircut girl” is done with her. I can’t wait to see.
February 28th, 2008 at 8:25 pm, nicki Says:
Oh sweet heavenly days! Those are Mormon swear words used in place of other graphic terms of shock. I would have been freaking out girlfriend. Thank goodness I have three boys, because the crazy train would have come to town if my only daughter had cut off all of her hair. I can’t believe how well you handled it. Serious mom points are coming your way!
February 28th, 2008 at 8:50 pm, leslie Says:
oh no. i posted something similar (unfortunately) earlier this month. my daughter did it to herself though, omg. i walked into a sink full of hair and a daughter so proud of her cut.
i share in your misery
leslie
February 28th, 2008 at 10:36 pm, Tam Says:
OMG! What a shock that must have been. Of course, after what I did to Kevin’s hair-me; a grown woman, I shouldn’t talk…
February 28th, 2008 at 11:01 pm, Kathy Says:
Okay, the hair story was entertaining (in a “my 3 1/2 year old daughter is bound for the same demise at some point, I bet you a hundred dollars” kind of way, but what really made me laugh was your “It happened” title. This is very similar to my non-referral post titled “Big News” which refers to us getting Direct TV FINALLY!!
February 28th, 2008 at 11:23 pm, Abbie Says:
OH DEAR. ohdearohdearohdear. Oh goodness, I would have vomited, but then turned around and rejoiced that my daughter has a totally hip new cut! Can’t wait to see pictures!
February 29th, 2008 at 11:01 am, Audrey Says:
Delaney kinda had it coming…
Admit it
February 29th, 2008 at 11:19 am, Stephanie Says:
We’ve done this twice over. My oldest found a pair of scissors, and cut her bangs so short it was military cut. So all you see is this long golden hair around her face, and military cut in the front. I have pictures. So I understand. It was a shock..I cried, I freaked, I was mad (at myself too). Everyone else was like “it’ll be ok”. OK? OK? How is it going to be ok. LOL I can laugh only a little now. They all said it’ll grow back, as I fought the tears. We ended up letting it grow out and got her hats.
Now my youngest just took long strands in the back and chopped it at the top of her head. Learning from oldest daughters haircutting experience, I had hid the scissors. She was good in finding them. But no damage - the shag is still in right? Layers are good right?
My moms philosphy: “All kids do it, except you Stephanie, you didn’t cut your hair, no you cut your sisters. It’ll grow out.”
My Philosphy: “Hide the scissors and make sure they don’t see you”
February 29th, 2008 at 3:21 pm, Jamie Says:
Somehow ran across your blog, great story. I am up here in northern Idaho. Glad the hair issue worked out. I WISH my 1 1/2 Year old daughter had hair!! It won’t grow. I asked for hair extensions for christmas to no avail. If you want you could mail me your daughters!!
LOL.
February 29th, 2008 at 7:25 pm, Bec Says:
God-I love your blog. I’m waiting for a referral from Ethio as well. It’s been 7 months now but it feels like forever…
I loved your story about your daughter’s hair. I can not wait to see the pics. She is so cute that I bet she look precious. I have 9 and 7 year old girls and somehow, luckily, they skipped that right of passage. My nine year old did have leukemia when she was six and lost all of her hair with treatment. While it grew back, I remember feeling like people are wondering why the hell I cut my little girls hair so short. I ended up shaving mine off too so we could grow it back together. I’m sure that when I had it to about buzz cut length many, many people thought that I was a lesbian. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m just saying…. My daughter and I both developed a strong preference for really pretty, girlie clothes during that time.
March 1st, 2008 at 11:53 am, Renee in Seattle Says:
I was the guilty culprit for my daughter… she WOULD NOT allow me to brush her beautiful, curly, silky, locks of hair and I had had it. I gave her a bag of M&Ms to hold her still and whacked it all off at the nape of her neck, and in one instant she went from delicate and beautiful to cute and spunky. It really matched her personality and so we kept the bob for a few years. However, even though many years since her hair has grown out, you can never get back that first-hair curly wispiness…. (sigh).
March 1st, 2008 at 9:49 pm, Half-Past Kissin' Time Says:
Awww… I’ll bet she’s adorable. And it will help keep her from getting headlice (You’ve got that going for you.) Can’t wait for the pics!! Thanks for the sweet smiles.
March 2nd, 2008 at 12:48 pm, Laurie Says:
I was referred to your blog after a recent minivan post of my own. Seriously, I just pissed my pants - thanks for the belly laugh!
March 2nd, 2008 at 9:05 pm, June Says:
Oh, I am just hysterical over the whole thing. The cutting, the sentences that make no sense (”That’s not even better!”), the lesbian. Oh!
It’s funny for me. Maybe not so much for you. But it’s hair. She’s a kid. She can’t help but by cute even if she’s dykin’ out.
March 3rd, 2008 at 10:00 pm, Erin O' Says:
I worry about this all the time. Our guys get up WAY earlier than we do and play in their room for about a half hour or so. I used to put away the scissors at night, but now I trust them. Should I? They’ve cut apart stuffed animals, and H has cut a couple curls off — both transgressions were roundly discouraged by me and Al.
Could it still happen?
March 5th, 2008 at 1:21 pm, Sarah Says:
OMG! I WAS THAT MISSING COUSIN ALMOST 34 years ago! I cut my neighbor, Beth Ising’s beautiful black sll the way down her back beautiful hair off at ear level! My mother was mortified and I was soon also sporting a very tom-boyish blonde pixie cut from my long locks of toe headed blondenss as a way to learn from my mistake! It has scarred me for life (but I did get pierced ears out of the deal since people kept thinking I was a boy)!!
I was not surprised when I got that phone call 12 years ago that my 4 year old had whacked off her own hair on just half of her head at preschool with those darn safety scissors (the day before our formal portraits were to be taken, of course)! I, however, did not take pictures, just did the mad rush to the salon to fix it.
I know your little cupcake would be gorgeous if she were shaved bald! But, I can’t wait to see her new do!!
Hope you are sleeping and not reliving that moment of horror! It seems to be a right of passage of sorts… glad your hubby dealt with it well when he got home!
As for the adoption front… so sorry for all your delays you are experiencing (I remember the wait for referral well… felt like H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEYSTICKS). I know that you will be so amazed when the time comes that the most perfect children for your family will be referred to you and that the timing really was perfect after all! Hang tight!! Sounds like it may be coming soon!
March 5th, 2008 at 7:28 pm, Melissa Says:
Hi Jamie,
I am anxiously awaiting photos. I bet she looks adorable, no hair cut would change that about her!
Melissa