December 4, 2007
Oh hey guys! What’s up?
Sorry about the, um, delay in service around here the last couple days. Or weeks. Or however long it’s been.
But, you know. You know how it is….. my grasp on time is irrelevant. Irrelevant when suffering as I have.
I’m a writer, guys. I am an artist of words, okay? I suffer with writhing discontent for my current reality and that which causes my lonesome and deep depth in despair. It’s a delicate process, this coming out of the emotional gray, this retched creative abandon. Nobody understands me. Nobody knows my brilliant mind. It’s hard, guys, like, really totally hard. And so sometimes I have to channel Van Gogh or Hemingway and this hopefully explains my lack in presence. I am often likened unto them. I find comfort in their souls.
But I’m back now.
In all honesty I haven’t lost track of time, I have been furiously trying to keep up with it. Did you guys realize it’s Christmas time? I know, right? Neither did I until I tried to go buy some panties at the Gap the other day and nearly DIED in the parking lot. And so I’ve decided that this whole mall shopping stuff is not going to work for me and I have since implemented my GENIUS idea of buying ALL Christmas presents for ma familia at antique shops. Cute, aren’t I?! I’m already loving the plan and am knee deep in vintage compacts and vanity mirrors and scotch bottles and tea pots. It’s so fun!
And on another note. Please look for the newest addition to the Boise Public Library. The Battle Station Wing. Dedicated in loving memory of Mr. Battle Station who fell over dead after having to pay $80 in late fees for his wife and child. Fees for such books as “Mo’s Stinky Sweater” and “The Lorax”. EIGHTY DOLLARS! When did library fines go up from 5 cents a day? Here I was trying to be a hip Mom and instead of buying the kid her own Dr. Suess collection, I spent $80 on 10 books we’ll never see again. Awesome. WHY do I do this to myself?
WHY?!
I’m all worked up again. I must go converse aloud with myself and twitch for awhile. This is what we do, us Greats. You wouldn’t understand.
Love,
Jamillasulleyeka (I’ve named my alter-ego that. We all have alter-egos. You wouldn’t understand.)
Posted by Jamie @ 3:04 am • random goodness
RSS feed for comments on this post.
TrackBack URI
December 4th, 2007 at 3:58 am, Emma Says:
Yup, you’re a nutter. I have to say, though, that that post was worth waiting for.
PS. Does your library have an amnesty week? I wait for that week every year, then sneak in at night wearing a dark hooded top and swiftly fling the overdue books into the after-hours returns hatch before bolting off.
December 4th, 2007 at 8:43 am, erinthebeekeeper Says:
My alter ego is thinner for sure. Smarter. And named keziah. She lives in New York City and is blissfully single somedays, somedays her current husband and daughter live there with her. Oh and they don’t have to worry about a pesky thing like saving money like it is the last slice of bread in a hungry world.
December 4th, 2007 at 10:29 am, Sandcastle Momma Says:
You are such a nut. I always look forward to reading your blog - kind of a what will she say today thing LOL
December 4th, 2007 at 10:31 am, emily Says:
That is painful! I knew that Blockbuster would knock your head off at any given moment, but the public library? Remember that Seinfeld episode??
December 4th, 2007 at 10:46 am, mandy Says:
LOL. Funny story about the library! When I was in high school I had a bunch of books that I never, ever took back. For awhile they called threatening my credit report and telling me they were going to turn me over to a collection agency (umm, hello I was 14 what were they going to take my beanie baby collection?). Finally the calls stopped, my library card revoked, and all was forgotten. When I wanted to check out books I used my mom’s card. Fast forward to a few years ago, while cleaning out some old things I found the library books. It wasnt amnesty week, but I knew if I didn’t take them back then I never would. I also didnt want to pay the fine and really have no idea how much it would have been, we’re talking a good 8 or 9 years. I finally found the nerve to take them back and when I gave them to the circulation desk, she looked at them said, these still have cards! (apparently it was before the barcode scan days) She asked me how long I had had them, so I said the first thing that came to my mind “We were cleaning out a dead relatives house and found them.” Granted it was an outright lie, but it seemed to statisfy her. To this day, I still use my mom’s card, I havent worked up the nerve to try to get my own again.
December 4th, 2007 at 11:04 am, melissa Says:
Ok, just so you’ll know, when you stop posting, I stop eating. I can now fit into my prom dress again thank you. Maybe in the spring you could take a few days off so I could get ready for bathing suit season.
Glad you’re back!
December 4th, 2007 at 11:23 am, misty Says:
Oh, my dear, i do understand… I understand your words and everything in between them- ranging from writing discontent from current reality to ridiculous library fees.
I do have a proposed theory as to when library fees went up…
It was when libraries decided to stop hiring people to work in the library and manage the card catalog. Now that computers are the “new thang” and one must have a BACHELORS DEGREE to work in a library, the public libraries realized they needed to increase profits. This was voted upon at the secret library convention. Proposals turned down included:
-charging $40,000 annually per library card.
- ceasing to buy new books and cd’s proposing instead to make everything e-book and itunes.
- renting larger libraries out to be erotic dance clubs at night.
-
December 4th, 2007 at 12:11 pm, Liesl Says:
They should make libraries like Netflix…doesn’t matter how long you have the book, they can just send you a new one when you are done. LOL.
But I’m glad you are back…my days get boring without your blog to read. Seriously. I know, does that give you an idea of what a GREAT job I have? Not quite.
December 4th, 2007 at 12:26 pm, JMC Says:
Wow, and I thought my $20 worth of late fees and the $14.95 I’m being charged to replace an entire DVD that I returned but my kids apparently lost some sort of insert from was ridiculous.
Alter-egos? They are EVERYWHERE around here. Some of us have more than one.
December 4th, 2007 at 3:12 pm, Jess Says:
$80 is so MUCH! I feel like you could say you lost the books and pay less than that! Those people are scam artists! Stupid library!
Anyway, I’m glad you’re back.
December 4th, 2007 at 4:48 pm, sari Says:
Yes, I feel for you. I actually called my library from the parking lot of In ‘N’ Out last night to avoid yet MORE late fees, though I’m nowhere near the $80 mark, ha ha.
Nice to see you!
December 6th, 2007 at 12:19 am, Jennifer England Says:
Jamillasulleyeka,
So nice to finally know you.
Sincerely,
Suzie Q Diamond (alter ego of Jennifer)
December 6th, 2007 at 4:48 pm, Anna Says:
At our local library they have “done away” with late fees and now have a donation jar right where you go to return your books. Apparently they obtained much more money this way by people just leaving whatever they felt was appropriate for their books being late. With the money they bought new computers for the library! What would your donation have looked like if you hadnt had to pay the late fees?
Believe me- in this crazy month of heightened moodiness we call holidays - we totally understand your not posting
Is it writers block? And please tell- how did you escape the coffee shop without paying?
December 6th, 2007 at 6:14 pm, Margie Says:
Ah, library fees. My husband is a voracious reader and loses stuff all the time. I wish I had a buck for every buck we’ve paid in library fees. I could probably buy a car.
December 9th, 2007 at 10:25 pm, Lindsey Wheeler Says:
You crack me up…it sounds a lot like Chris and me!! Aren’t ou thankful for patient husbands??!!! We look forward to every post you write. Whenever we are having a bad day in our adoption……we read your posts…..you are hilarious (and talented)!!!
Hope you had a great weekend!
Lindsey Wheeler
http://www.elliedub.com (our new fundraiser site for Eliana)